Eight-Stone Press

THE BLUEFLOWERS - "In Line with the Broken-Hearted"

2012-01-27T12:59:00.004-05:00

Like British pop star V.V. Brown, Detroit's Blueflowers have a manifest affinity for infusing the tried-and-true chord progressions of late-'50s/early-'60s pop music with thoroughly modern soul, energy and purpose. But while Brown's style scales a Spector-esque wall of sound, the Blueflowers quietly opt for the picket fence.

With songs like "In Your Shadow" and "Hesitate", the band's sophomore album, In Line with the Broken-Hearted (2011), demonstrates an innate pop sensibility more closely aligned with The Crystals or Vogue-era Francoise Hardy than the precious navel-gazing of latter-day college radio. Just as a campfire draws faces from the surrounding darkness, so vocalist Kate Hinote provides a focal point for her band-mates, whose able instrumentation is relegated to a supporting role. And for good reason, for although Hinote’s vocals on occasion seem redundant, the woman can really sing.

Which is not to sell Tony Hamera (guitars), Erica Stephens (bass), David Johnson (acoustic guitar) and Jim Faulkner (drums) short. To be sure, their musical sense is impeccable, judiciously doling out organ signatures or clicking castanets at precisely the right moments, and to great effect.

Indeed, it all really falls into place for the album’s brightest moment, “Maybe”, a sugary tune at least as sweet as anything Phil Spector ever produced at the height of his game. The possibly sinister undertones of the lyrics render the tune that much more interesting: “Sorrow won’t protect you now / You’ve said just how you feel / If I can’t have the best of you / Then no one ever will.” Make no mistake: in a merit-based music industry there’d be no question of “Maybe” – this song would be multi-platinum.

With its clean (though not overdone) production, In Line with the Broken-Hearted shirks Detroit’s gritty urban landscape, casting the post-Aretha/Iggy/White Stripes city in a whole new musical light – one that finds melody on a prairie breeze somewhere on the darkest outskirts of town.

Seriously...

2012-01-26T15:06:00.004-05:00

I really did staple my fingertips together last night:

And while we're on the subject:

SMILE, HON release party tomorrow night!

2012-01-26T10:38:00.003-05:00

Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 15 is back from the printer. It's a big bastard - 72 pages worth. And so long as I don't staple my fingers together again between now and tomorrow night, the show will go on...

SMILE, HON release party this Friday!

2012-01-23T13:08:00.003-05:00

At long last, the much-anticipated Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 15 has gone to the printer. You can pre-order the issue on the Eight-Stone Press website. Or, better yet, pick up a copy this Friday night (1/27/12) at Atomic Books, when Smile, Hon teams up with best-selling travel guide The Dark Side of Disney for a joint release party of epically uncomfortable proportions! This free event begins at 7:00 p.m.

THE LOST PATROL - "Rocket Surgery"

2012-01-10T12:01:00.013-05:00

The Shadows-meet-Joy Division. Meet Ennio Morricone. Meet David Lynch. And that’s just for starters. Indeed, The Lost Patrol’s sonic spaghetti Western-in-the-sky belies their New York roots. Like stars that only come forth well beyond city limits, the band’s influences are legion, yet the product they yield is as singular as a life-bearing planet.

The Lost Patrol’s third album in as many years, the beautifully produced Rocket Surgery (2011) carries the listener ever-deeper into a void untouched by the commercial mainstream. “A softer touch / A face so sweet / A lust for blood / Awakes the beast,” croons vocalist Mollie Israel on the album’s opener, “Dead or Alive”, a vintage tune propelled by the sleepy determination of Michael Williams’s four-four 12-string and lead guitarist Stephen Masucci’s sparkling reverb.

Rocket Surgery’s centerpiece is a star-dusted homage to ’50s torch songs called “This Road is Long”. Here, Israel more than makes good on the promise shown on earlier tracks like “Homecoming” (from the band’s 2008 release, Midnight Matinée), delivering what is perhaps her finest vocal performance yet. Coupled with dark lyrics ("You gave good guys a bad name...") and lush orchestration, "This Road is Long" suggests Skeeter Davis fronting The Moody Blues-from-under-someone-else's-bed.

But, unlike Scarlett Johansson and Josh Hartnett in The Black Dahlia, Israel isn’t merely playing dress-up. “Don’t look so sad / You don’t know / All that you have,” she pleads with the subject of “Little Girl” as Masucci’s guitar soars like wisdom of the ages.

To be sure, what distinguishes The Lost Patrol from much of the “shoegaze” genre is a brand of existential maturity that transcends kretek-infused apathy. As Israel notes on “Lost at Sea”, “When the strongest love / Wasn’t built to last / You know the brightest stars / Burn twice as fast.” Or, on “Not the Only One”, “You are the remedy / That sickens me.” Even a line like “I need you / To be mine / Dead or alive” acknowledges that, for better or worse, we ultimately have nothing if not each other. And for The Lost Patrol, that means everything.

Coming soon from Eight-Stone Press!

2012-01-01T22:01:00.003-05:00

The cover of Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 15, coming soon from Eight-Stone Press...

SMILE, HON reading/open mic tomorrow night!

2011-12-29T13:37:00.004-05:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - Baltimore's own Cyclops Books, at the northeast corner of Maryland and North Avenues, hosts a Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! reading and open-mic event beginning at 8:00 p.m. tomorrow, Friday, December 30, 2011. Enjoy free, morbidly-shaped homemade cookies, and bring along your own stories or songs! It's all part of the Station North Arts District's "Final Fridays."

But wait, there's more! How do you make and event like this even better? Well, just bring one non-perishable food item (soup, peanut butter, etc.) or one personal care product (soap, shampoo, deodorant, etc.) and we'll send it all over to the good folks at the Bea Gaddy Family Center.

Hons, Crime, and Rats: The Baltimore Holy Trinity Gift Pack

2011-11-27T13:17:00.001-05:00

Want to explain to out of town family and friends what makes Baltimore so special? Forget about the ironic Natty Boh t-shirt or the stale Berger's cookies, instead send them stories about the real Hons of Baltimore, rats the size of Mini Coopers, and of course the city's favorite sport - both active and spectator - crime! For a limited time, Eight-Stone Press is offering "Hons, Crime, and Rats: The Baltimore Holy Trinity Gift Pack."

Each gift pack contains:

HON: Past, Present, & Future
56 pages
From "birthright" to "state of being," many Baltimoreans hold "hon" sacred, something as intrinsic to the city's character as the Orioles, painted screens and Old Bay. This special edition of the award-winning zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! explores the various interpretations and implications of this simple term of endearment in a city struggling to reconcile its industrial past with an uncertain future.

Criminally Yours
48 pages
Eight-Stone Press (ESP) teams with Baltimore's free weekly e-zine, THE MOBTOWN SHANK, to bring you CRIMINALLY YOURS, featuring the "best" crime-related encounters from 29 area contributors, guilty and otherwise . . .

Infestation!
48 pages
A sometimes unsavory collection of tales of Charm City's unsung vermin. For Infestation! - the second-ever "theme" issue of ESP's increasingly popular Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series - ESP Editor William P. Tandy compiled the stories, poetry, photography and other artwork of 18 regional contributors, each inspired by their own encounters with Rattus norvegicus.

This limited time offer is available locally from Atomic Books or direct from Eight-Stone Press. You can order online at eightstonepress.com/hon/hongift.htm or via PayPal to davida@leekinginc.com (gift packs are $10 each, + $3 s/h).

"For the love of God, Montresor!"

2011-11-18T12:53:00.005-05:00

Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! editor and publisher William P. Tandy drops by Poison Dart Studios for the special Thanksgiving edition of The Inverse Delirium Podcast. Also on tap:

Learn more about that noble bird, the turkey, with our favorite SuperBirder, Karen Morley (and her trusty jetpack)
Share a word with WYPR‘s Milton Kent, who tries to explain the pastime known as “FOO-ta-BA-ru“
Take a brief look at a new crime wave

Tribune Co. to auction Sun collection of 7,000+ Bodine prints

2011-11-15T20:53:00.005-05:00

A Baltimore Sun photographer for nearly 50 years, A. Aubrey Bodine documented life in Baltimore and around Maryland from the 1920s until his death in 1970. Decades before Photoshop and desktop publishing, Bodine perfected his technique in the darkroom. His photography was exhibited the world over, winning many regional, national and even international competitions; he was, in fact, the first American photographer to have a solo exhibition in the former Soviet Union. Today, his name, for many, is as synonymous with the city as the Orioles and Old Bay.

This Saturday, November 17, The Baltimore Sun (or rather the Sun's parent entity, the Chicago-based Tribune Company) will auction off the paper's collection of more than 7,000 original Bodine prints at Alex Cooper Auctioneers in Towson, Maryland. Jennifer Bodine, the photographer's daughter and curator of the website AAubreyBodine.com, would like nothing more than to see this collection remain intact and properly cared for so that future generations might continue to appreciate this fantastic window into mid-20th century Baltimore. Nevertheless, there's a very good chance that Saturday's auction will effectively scatter the collection to the winds of time. [Read more here.]

Thanks to Jennifer's generosity and support, her father's work has repeatedly graced the pages (and even a few covers) of Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! over the last several years. She will appear on Midday with Dan Rodricks (88.1 WYPR-FM) beginning at 1:00 p.m. this Thursday, November 17, to discuss the upcoming auction and its implications, as well as her new book, Bodine's City: The Photography of A. Aubrey Bodine.

If you like (dare I say even love) this city, please take a moment to peruse Aubrey Bodine's work...

ATTN: Maryland history/photography enthusiasts!

2011-10-24T13:00:00.006-04:00

The following is an urgent plea from Jennifer Bodine, daughter of legendary Baltimore Sun photographer A. Aubrey Bodine and founder and proprietor of AAubreyBodine.com:

The Baltimore Sun is auctioning its library of 7,000 A. Aubrey Bodine pictures at Alex Cooper Auctioneers at 10:00 a.m., Saturday, November 19, 2011. If anyone knows an angel who would buy the collection and donate it to the Maryland Historical Society, UMBC or the Maryland State Archives, please step up. This is important to Maryland history. Bodine's photographs in this auction are a 50-year set of snap shots (artistically created) of Maryland history. They belong in a proper, climate-controlled environment and should be accessible to the people of Maryland.

A. Aubrey Bodine shot for The Baltimore Sun from the 1920s up until his death, in 1970. Regular readers of Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! will no doubt recall his many photos that, thanks to Jennifer, have graced several issues of Smile, Hon. This month marks the release of Bodine's City: The Photography of A. Aubrey Bodine (Schiffer Books).

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SMILE, HON seeking submissions!

2011-10-23T16:17:00.005-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - Long-running lit zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of your Mobtown-related/inspired stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for the forthcoming Smile, Hon No. 15 through Thursday, December 1, 2011. Creative non-fiction is preferred, though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) should be submitted via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue.

From the harbor to the hills, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award Nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Special theme issues have tackled such subjects as sex, rats, tattoos and waste.

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is available locally for purchase at Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA) Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD) and Ukazoo Books (Towson, MD).

For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

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SMILE, HON receives shout-out in THE URBANITE

2011-09-27T20:31:00.003-04:00

Cara Ober praises Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 14 in the latest issue of The Urbanite:

"[L]ocal authors, familiar settings, and wildly different perspectives...Learn Baltimore's secrets right from the source."

Read the complete post here.

SMILE, HON: Tony Pann is a fan!

2011-09-22T07:15:00.006-04:00

During the cutaway from my segment discussing Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! on this morning's WBAL-TV broadcast, meteorologist Tony Pann had this to say of the zine:

"I've read [Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore!], and you get a flavor of what Maryland is all about. It's really cool...I highly recommend that you check it out."

But don't just take his word for it - find out for yourself at the Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 14 release party beginning at 6:00 p.m. this Friday, September 23, under the CityLit tent at the 2011 Baltimore Book Festival!

SMILE, HON editor to make TV appearance

2011-09-21T16:33:00.002-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! editor, publisher and contributing writer William P. Tandy will appear on WBAL-TV (NBC) Thursday, September 22, as part of a live segment promoting the 2011 Baltimore Book Festival (September 23-25). The segment is slated to air at 6:12 a.m.

In related news, Tandy hosts a release party for the latest issue of the long-running zine from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m., Friday, September 23, under the CityLit tent at the Book Festival. This free event will include contributor readings, live music by Rahne Alexander (The Degenerettes, The Oops) and free beer courtesy of the Brewer's Art. Tandy returns to the Book Fest on Sunday, September 25, where he will join Davida Gypsy Breier (Xerography Debt, Rigor Mortis) from 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. under the Visual Voices tent to discuss the world of independent publishing with Festival-goers. For more information, e-mail wpt@eightstonepress.com.

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Bodine to promote new book at Baltimore Book Festival

2011-09-21T11:23:00.005-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - Jennifer Bodine - daughter of legendary Baltimore Sun photographer A. Aubrey Bodine and proprietor of www.AAubreyBodine.com - will be on hand to promote the October 2011 release of her latest book, Bodine's City: The Photography of A. Aubrey Bodine (ISBN: 9780764338441), September 23-25 at the 2011 Baltimore Book Festival. Bodine will be in the Schiffer Books booth all day, for all three days of the Festival.

"Most of these 154 images were shot on assignment and within a four-mile radius of where he lived or worked," says Bodine, who previously published another collection of her father's work, Bodine's Chesapeake Bay Country (ISBN: 9780870335624). But while "the subject of these pictures is exclusively Baltimore," Bodine notes that Bodine's City - which includes "award-winning pictures, popular images and ones that have not been seen since the one day they ran in the newspaper" - is "not a Baltimore picture book."

"The reason these photos transcend their geographical bounds is that Bodine’s subject matter varied wildly, demonstrating the versatility of Bodine as an artist," she explains. Though generally defined as a Pictorialist, her father was "much more than one defining label. He photographed people, animals, buildings, harsh weather conditions, textures, geometric patterns, maritime images and city scapes."

The elder Bodine shot feature photography for the Baltimore Sunday Sun from 1927 until his death in 1970. Throughout his career, Bodine published books, wrote articles, judged salon competitions, won awards from all over the world, corresponded with other photographers around the globe and lectured along the Eastern Seaboard, all while holding down a full-time job for a major city newspaper. His work continues to appear regularly in a variety of publications, including the award-winning zine, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore!.

Offering reprints, gift cards and more, AAubreyBodine.com allows visitors to peruse the site's nearly 4,000 photographs individually or by selecting from 250 distinct categories.

For more information regarding review copies, personal appearances and other inquiries, e-mail Jennifer Bodine at jbb@aaubreybodine.com, or call 1-800-556-7226.

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SMILE, HON kicks off Baltimore Book Festival

2011-09-17T16:58:00.011-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. – Kick off the 2011 Baltimore Book Festival in true “Bawlmer” style with a release party marking the publication of Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! No. 14, beginning at 6:00 p.m., Friday, September 23, 2011, under the CityLit Tent, by the Washington Monument in Mt. Vernon (come early for the 5:30 p.m. CityLit Literary Happy Hour). This free event will include a coterie of contributors reading their work, including:

- Rahne Alexander

- Rafael Alvarez

- Ian Hochberg

- Earl Crown

- E. Doyle-Gillespie

- JD Buckner

- Dean Bartoli Smith

- Susan Beverly

- Leonard Kinsey

- Davida Gypsy Breier

Smile, Hon Editor William P. Tandy hosts the event. Plus, enjoy live music from Rahne Alexander (The Degenerettes, The Oops)! And be sure to stop by the merch table for copies of Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! No. 14, back issues and more.

For more information about this and other CityLit events, visit here; or, go here for a complete guide to the 2011 Baltimore Book Festival.

***

From the harbor to the hills, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet’s fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Reader Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed “Best Zine” by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). In spring 2011, Eight-Stone Press published a special “hon” edition, exploring the term’s significance in Baltimore’s identity, past and present; other theme issues have tackled such topics as waste, rats, scars, tattoos, crime and transi t.

Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is an Eight-Stone Press production and is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD); and Ukazoo Books (Towson, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor

Eight-Stone Press

P.O. Box 11064

Baltimore, MD 21212

E-mail: wpt@eightstonepress.com

Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

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Eight-Stone Press publishes SMILE, HON, YOU'RE IN BALTIMORE! No. 14

2011-09-13T11:32:00.007-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. – Painted screens, Winter dreams and death in Little Italy ink the pages of Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! No. 14, the latest installment in the award-winning series published by Eight-Stone Press.

In this expanded, 68-page issue, Rahne Alexander leads “a horticulture;” Earl Crown gets caught with his hand in the piranha tank; Fernando Quijano III prays in the temple of the moon; Lisa Wiseman takes it off; and Dan Reed recalls his first murder, plus a whole lot more. Contributors include:

- Rahne Alexander

- Rafael Alvarez

- Susan Beverly

- Davida Gypsy Breier

- JD Buckner

- Jenny Campbell

- Caryn Coyle

- Earl Crown

- E. Doyle-Gillespie

- Matthew Falk

- S.J. Ferrandi

- Julie Fisher

- Martha Gatewood

- Sharon Goldner

- Heck

- Alex Hewett

- Ian Hochberg

- Bill Hughes

- Alex Koplow

- Sommer Marsden

- Fernando Quijano III

- Benn Ray

- Dan Reed

- Timmy Reed

- Steve Roberts

- Rosalia Scalia

- Jena Shlock

- Stacy Spaulding

- Honora Sully

- William P. Tandy

- Matthew C. Terzi

- Lisa Wiseman

From the harbor to the hills, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Reader Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). In spring 2011, Eight-Stone Press published a special “hon” edition, exploring the term’s significance in Baltimore’s identity, past and present; other theme issues have tackled such topics as waste, rats, scars, tattoos, crime and transit.

William P. Tandy, Editor

Eight-Stone Press

P.O. Box 11064

Baltimore, MD 21212

E-mail: wpt@eightstonepress.com

Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

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UPDATE: Smile, Hon No. 14 is printed...

2011-09-05T08:50:00.002-04:00

Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 14 - the latest issue in the long-running series from Eight-Stone Press - has just returned from the printer. Contributor / distro / press copies will go out in the mail within the next few days...

SMILE, HON editor at Preston Gardens!

2011-08-08T14:01:00.004-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! editor William P. Tandy will regale lunching office workers, street people and sundry ne’er-do-wells with his own strange blend of humor and misanthropy as part of the ongoing summer series “Poets in Preston,” Tuesday, August 9, in Preston Gardens, St. Paul and Pleasant Streets, in downtown Baltimore. This free event begins at noon. And Hell will surely follow. Poets in Preston is a presentation of the Downtown Partnership of Baltimore, Inc; read more about it here.

In related news, Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! No. 14 (pictured) is coming soon from Eight-Stone Press. Pre-order your copy and read samples from the new issue here. For more information about Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore!, contact wpt@eightstonepress.com.

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Coming soon from Eight-Stone Press!

2011-07-28T15:28:00.002-04:00

Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 14...

S.S. John W. Brown, one of America's last Liberty ships

2011-07-28T13:10:00.006-04:00

Should you find yourself near Baltimore's Inner Harbor any time between now and July 31, take a moment to check out the S.S. John W. Brown, one of the country's last two Liberty ships.

Built in a similar fashion to modular homes (with different yards each cranking out a different portion of the ship, which were then all assembled prior to launch), these WWII-era cargo ships could be built with amazing speed; at one point, an average of three were launched every day. Indeed, American shipyards eventually spit them out faster than Hitler's wolf packs could sink them. (Yes, there was a time the United States was capable of such things.)

Of the more than 2,700 Liberty ships built, only two survive - the Baltimore-built John Brown, and the S.S. Jeremiah O'Brien (in San Francisco). For more information on the Brown, and Liberty ships in general, visit http://www.liberty-ship.com.

Attn: Baltimore-area poets!

2011-07-26T10:56:00.005-04:00

Alright, Baltimore poets - listen up, because Christophe Casamassima (Furniture Press Books) is about to throw down...

From: Christophe Casamassima, Furniture Press Books

To: The People of Baltimore

400 Events in 340 Cities Representing 70 Countries Make “100 Thousand Poets for Change” Truly Historic

Poets around the world are currently organizing and planning nearly 400 individual events to take place simultaneously on September 24, 2011, in a demonstration/celebration of poetry and the spoken word to promote environmental, social and political change.

In Baltimore City, I am organizing a massive recording session of area poets, writers and readers, and then creating a free online anthology to which anyone in the world can listen. The purpose is to support the notion that “The City that Reads” reflects the manifest interests and poetics of its citizenry, and that creative literacy can be sustained in Charm City.

From now until September 24, I’ll be reaching out to individuals to read their favorite poems in front of a microphone. It can be one poem or a series of poems. The object is to show the world that poetry is thriving in our fair city and that it’s not just practicing or well-known poets and writers who are engaged in the craft.

Immediately following September 24, all documentation on the 100TPC.org weblog will be preserved by Stanford University in California, which has recognized 100 Thousand Poets for Change as an historical event, the largest poetry reading in history. They will archive the complete contents of the weblog, 100TPC.org, as part of their digital archiving program LOCKSS.

So, want your 15 minutes of fame? Let’s meet! You can find my contact info below. Please write or call me to set up a time where we can meet. All you have to do is pick your favorite poems and tell us a little about yourself.

Thank you,

Christophe Casamassima

furniture.press.books@gmail.com

(410) 718-6574

Earlier this year, Christophe did me the honor of recording some of my own work; listen here, if you're so inclined.

Bed Zeppelin

2011-07-13T10:19:00.004-04:00

In order to provide greater "lift," the Nazis filled their sex dolls with hydrogen - and the results proved disastrous...

O'Brien's AT SWIM-TWO-BIRDS bound for screen

2011-07-12T09:12:00.004-04:00

Irish actor Brendan Gleeson has secured funding for a screen adaptation of Flann O'Brien's novel At Swim-Two-Birds, according to the BBC. Novelist Graham Greene hailed O'Brien's (right) fantastical 1939 novel upon its publication, noting it provided "the kind of [comical] glee one experiences when people smash china on the stage." And Dylan Thomas called At Swim-Two-Birds "just the book to give your sister if she's a loud, dirty, boozy girl." (What further recommendation could one need?) Indeed, bringing At Swim-Two-Birds to the screen is a ballsy move, much in the vein of adapting such "un-filmable" books as William S. Burroughs's Naked Lunch (1991) and Laurence Sterne's The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman (2005).

It's own reward...

2011-07-12T09:03:00.003-04:00

[PEARL STREET. Baltimore, MD. Photo by WPT.]

KNOCKEMSTIFF author Donald Ray Pollock

2011-07-11T14:43:00.007-04:00

Donald Ray Pollock's first book, Knockemstiff, a collection of interconnected short stories centering on a diminutive Ohio town of the same name, reads like Sherwood Anderson hopped up on pork rinds and methamphetamine. Indeed, Pollock's penchant for shining his tight, economical prose into the darker corners of the American hinterland serves as a suitable literary complement to, say, the music of James McMurtry.

Here, New York Times writer Charles McGrath highlights the author on the eve of publication of Pollock's second book, The Devil All the Time...

Mencken Speaks!

2011-06-25T08:22:00.004-04:00

Special thanks to Welcome to Baltimore, Hon's Bruce Goldfarb for this rare recorded 1948 interview with "the Sage of Baltimore," Henry Louis Mencken!

Cover Story

2011-06-16T15:52:00.004-04:00

Hon: Past, Present & Future had no sooner hit newsstands everywhere when a gentleman contacted me to say that, lo and behold, the woman pictured in the cover photo (taken in 1969 by legendary Baltimore Sun photographer A. Aubrey Bodine) is not only his mother, but that, true to the irrepressible Hon spirit, she is still very much alive!

Sensing a story, writer Caryn Coyle immediately set out to meet Maryann Boggio Alcaraz (pictured) and learn more. Coyle documents her findings in "That's My Mom on the Cover of Hon!"...

Pennies for Poe!

2011-05-19T06:25:00.007-04:00

Every burg from Richmond to Beantown has some nondescript dwelling in a shitty part of town that can boast "Edgar Allan Poe slept here." But for all his mad vision, the drinking and drugs, only one of those cities can justifiably claim that it killed this master of the macabre, the godfather of the detective story, an all-American original.

Today, its subsidies slashed by a cash-strapped city, Baltimore's historic Edgar Allan Poe House is in very real danger of closing its doors. Consequently, writer Rafael Alvarez has taken up the task of resurrecting a fabled fund-raiser to benefit the Poe House with the hope of ensuring that this literary landmark remains accessible to residents and visitors alike....

In the meantime, don't miss Alvarez's hometown homage "Ain't Nothin' Like the Real Thing" in Hon: Past, Present & Future, the latest theme issue in the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series from Eight-Stone Press!

BALTIMORE MAGAZINE lauds new HON issue

2011-05-03T10:38:00.004-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - Arts & Culture Editor John Lewis praises Hon: Past, Present & Future in this month's edition of Baltimore Magazine.

"Both individually and collectively, these essays get to the heart of the controversy by letting Baltimoreans articulate their feelings about an often elusive and slippery quality that makes this city so special," Lewis writes in the May issue. "[I]n a mere 56 pages, [Hon] reveals more about the fabric of the city than a rambling treatise ever could. And that’s exactly what we’ve come to expect from every issue of Smile, Hon."

Read his complete review here, or pick up a copy of the May edition of Baltimore Magazine, now available at newsstands. Pick up your copy of Hon: Past, Present & Future locally at Atomic Books (Hampden) or Cyclops Books & Music (Station North). Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is an Eight-Stone Press production.

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SMILE, HON contributor awarded grant!

2011-04-20T15:28:00.004-04:00

Congratulations to frequent Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributor Fernando Quijano III for receiving one of the annual William G. Baker Memorial Fund's 18 b-grants! Likewise, kudos to all other recipients of this year's Baker Artist Awards, particularly Shodekeh and ellen cherry, with both of whom I had the pleasure of judging the Literary Death Match last fall at the Baltimore Museum of Art.

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SMILE, HON takes Towson with humor, drama and bubblegum

2011-04-19T10:09:00.007-04:00

More than 40 people turned out last night, Monday, April 18, at the Towson Library in support of six featured Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! poets, including Hanna Badalova, S.J. Ferrandi, Heck, Sarah Jane Miller, Fernando Quijano III and Dean Smith. The free event was part of the 6th Annual Cruelest Month Poetry and Performance Festival co-sponsored by the Towson Arts Collective and the Baltimore County Public Library. An open-mic session followed the featured artists.

Thanks to all those who read and everyone in attendance for making the evening so special. Also, special thanks to: photographer and Smile, Hon contributor Bill Hughes for showing up to document the evening just a few hours before fleeing the country; Christophe Casamassima of the Towson Arts Collective and the staff of the Towson Library for suffering Smile, Hon with admirable grace; master thespian Alex Hewett for her dramatic interpretation of a Bazooka Joe comic; and especially Davida Gypsy Breier, without whose organization and support stark raving mad naked chaos would have reigned.

In related news, Furniture Press Books has posted recordings of Smile, Hon editor William P. Tandy reading a few selections from his body of work. Listen here.

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Tonight, SMILE, HON does Towson!

2011-04-18T10:02:00.004-04:00

TOWSON, Md. - Fresh from the bustle of the eighth annual CityLit Festival, local literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! rolls out once more for an evening of Mobtown-infused verse from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. tonight, Monday, April 18, 2011, at the Towson Public Library, 320 York Road, Towson, MD 21204. This free event is part of the 6th Annual Cruelest Month Poetry and Performance Festival co-sponsored by the Towson Arts Collective and the Baltimore County Public Library. Featured poets include Hanna Badalova; S.J. Ferrandi; Heck; Sarah Jane Miller; Fernando Quijano III; and Dean Bartoli Smith; Smile, Hon editor William P. Tandy hosts. Want to try your own work on an audience? An open mic will follow. Light refreshments will be served.

For more information, visit the Festival website.

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Survivors

2011-04-13T14:26:00.011-04:00

A Kiwi friend sent me a package containing a pair of remembrance poppies (in honor of Anzac Day on April 25) and a poster bearing a poem entitled “Becoming Something Other” in which the author, a man named Chris Knox, faces mortality through the lens of his own father’s failing health. Rendering the piece all the more poignant is the fact that, according to the author’s blurb, Knox – “a New Zealand musician, songwriter, cartoonist & critic” - himself suffered “a life-altering stroke” in June 2009. His friends and fans subsequently released a benefit album containing covers of Knox’s music to support him in his recovery.

This struck a particular chord for me as a good friend of mine suffered a massive stroke in late 2008 – two days after his 35^th birthday – prior to which he had been in otherwise very good health. He was fortunate in that his mental capacities remained more or less fully intact. However, the physical ramifications are something else entirely, having included countless surgeries, hundreds of hours of physical therapy and the need to completely relearn such basic skills as walking, to name but a few.

We talk on the phone regularly, at least once every week or two. When I underwent chemotherapy for non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 2007, he always made a point of calling me the evening following my treatment. He’d ask how it all went, how it was all going, but mostly we talked bullshit: movies, music, stories from college (where we first met one strange and twisted evening after I nearly smacked him in the head with an ironing board). Bottom line, he recognized two things: 1) that quite often, at the end of the day, the last thing I wanted to talk about was cancer, and 2) just how much I truly valued the thought – the genuine friendship.

So, when I received word of his stroke, I had some firsthand idea of what awaited him, at least insofar as the reactions of others were concerned – the initial (and sincere) outpouring of support from well-wishers that would, in time, fade to a trickle once the “novelty” of the situation wore off and a good many of them redirected their attention to their own problems, their own lives. It’s nothing personal – that’s just how it goes.

Though not his only source of conversation by any measure, I’ve nevertheless made a point of talking with him as frequently as possible – bullshit stuff most of the time, more serious matters when they’re obviously weighing on him – being all too familiar with the statute of limitations on casual sympathy. We also share an acute awareness of our own mortality statistically beyond our years.

Still, things are a bit different this time around. When I was sick, he was a picture of health. But for however close to death I came, within a year my treatments were done, my hair was growing back and I was looking forward to making the most at this new lease on life. Today, four years later, I’m the healthiest I’ve been since high school, the only physical relics of my ordeal being a rather small biopsy scar and a tiny pill I take every morning – a very small price, indeed. That said I cannot begin to imagine the uncertainty he must face with the dawn of each new day.

It’s interesting – though I was not familiar with Knox or his music before opening this morning’s mail, such “life-altering” occurrences recognize no synthetic boundaries like Race, Religion, Nationality or Tax Bracket. We’re all fellow patients and, so long as we draw breath, we are all survivors.

So here’s to ya, Knox – good luck, and Godspeed (whatever the hell that means)...

Smile, Hon, You're COMING TOGETHER!

2011-04-13T09:38:00.006-04:00

Check out Baltimore-based smut writer (and frequent Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributor) Sommer Marsden's latest offering, Coming Together: With Sommer, now out from All Romance e-Books! What makes Coming Together particularly special (aside from just that) is that a) sales proceeds will benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, and b) the book includes a foreword by Smile, Hon editor (and lymphoma survivor) William P. Tandy. Learn more here.

And don't miss Marsden's bittersweet look at love and loss on Harford Road in "Dominic's Dead" in Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 9 - an Editor's Pick!

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SMILE, HON: A night of Mobtown-infused poetry

2011-04-12T14:21:00.001-04:00

SMILE, HON: "Some mighty fine writing..."

2011-04-11T19:36:00.004-04:00

Not even two weeks after its publication, Hon: Past, Present & Future has already found its way halfway around the world!

Of the new issue, New Zealand's Phantom Billstickers Ltd. says, "[S]ome mighty fine writing...all very close to the street/community and closely resembles that which is actually happening in that community. Imagine that? The voices are keen, fresh, and direct. We like it." Indeed, they like it enough to feature a give-away of five copies of the zine.

Read the complete review here.

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SMILE, HON: April Events

2011-04-10T10:02:00.006-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. – It’s a busy month for Eight-Stone Press (ESP), in the wake of publishing Hon: Past, Present & Future, the latest theme issue in ESP’s long-running Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! series.

First up, don't miss what Baltimore Magazine has called "a can't miss event on the city's cultural scene" as CityLit Project partners with the Enoch Pratt Free Library for the eighth time to present the annual CityLit Festival, Baltimore's day-long celebration of literature, from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. this Saturday, April 16, 2011, at the Pratt’s Central Branch in downtown Baltimore. Stop by the Eight-Stone Press table in the Literary Marketplace to pick up a copy of Hon: Past, Present & Future, back issues of Smile, Hon and more. This year's Festival headliners are Danielle Evans, Andrei Codrescu, and Jaimy Gordon. For more information, visit the event website.

Next up, join Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! for an evening of Mobtown-infused verse from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m., Monday, April 18, 2011, at the Towson Public Library, 320 York Road, Towson, MD 21204, part of the 6^th Annual Cruelest Month Poetry and Performance Festival co-sponsored by the Towson Arts Collective and the Baltimore County Public Library. Presenting authors include Heck, Sarah Jane Miller, Fernando Quijano III, S.J. Ferrandi and more; Smile, Hon editor William P. Tandy hosts. Want to try your own hand? This free event will also feature an open-mic session. Light refreshments will be served. For more information, visit the Festival website.

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UPDATE: Hon: Past, Present & Future

2011-04-08T10:30:00.007-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - The Feral Scribe ("Chronicles of a Wayfaring Journalist") offers an interesting outsider's perspective on Baltimore and its "hontroversy," including a handful of quotes from Hon: Past, Present & Future.

Also, Welcome to Baltimore, Hon's Bruce Goldfarb (author of the notorious "Hon Manifesto") offers his take on the new issue.

And finally, those who missed last week's edition of local arts program The Signal, featuring a discussion of Hon: Past, Present & Future with editor William P. Tandy, can now listen to the podcast. Rounding out the line-up:

Ron Tanner talks about his new illustrated novel, Kiss Me, Stranger. The book tells the story of a dystopian future plagued by civil war and environmental degradation… and believe it or not, it manages to be hopeful, tender, and downright funny.
We talk to John Heyn, who co-directed the seminal rock-n-roll documentary Heavy Metal Parking Lot. The film is celebrating its 25th anniversary.
And if you ask heavy metal misfit Terry Sapp, “What do you want to do with your life?” he’ll answer defiantly, “I wanna rock!” From the stage of The Stoop Storytelling Series, Terry tells the tale of his lifelong devotion to the screaming ball of hair that is Twisted Sister.

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"Hon" editor on this week's edition of "The Signal"

2011-03-31T18:49:00.004-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! editor William P. Tandy joins this week's edition of The Signal to discuss Hon: Past, Present & Future, the latest theme issue in the long-running Smile, Hon series from Eight-Stone Press, beginning at 7:00 p.m. this Friday, April 1, 2011, on 88.1 (WYPR-FM), or listen online at www.wypr.org. (The program airs again at 1:00 p.m., Saturday, April 2.)

This week's program also includes:

Ron Tanner talks about his new illustrated novel, Kiss Me, Stranger. The book tells the story of a dystopian future plagued by civil war and environmental degradation… and believe it or not, it manages to be hopeful, tender, and downright funny.

We talk to John Heyn, who co-directed the seminal rock-n-roll documentary, Heavy Metal Parking Lot. The film is celebrating its 25th anniversary.

And if you ask heavy metal misfit Terry Sapp, “What do you want to do with your life?” he’ll answer defiantly, “I wanna rock!” From the stage of The Stoop Storytelling Series, Terry tells the tale of his lifelong devotion to the screaming ball of hair that is Twisted Sister.

Eight-Stone Press Publishes Controversial "Hon" Edition

2011-03-31T09:10:00.005-04:00

~ Hon: Past, Present & Future expounds on issues brought to light by the trademarking of the word "Hon" ~

BALTIMORE, Md. – In an effort to document and mobilize the public sentiment generated in response to news of Café Hon owner Denise Whiting's trade-marking of the term "hon," Eight-Stone Press announces the publication of Hon: Past, Present & Future, the latest theme issue in its long-running Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series.

"Given the sustained public reaction to Ms. Whiting's actions, it was evident that there were deeper issues at play," says William P. Tandy, editor for Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore!. "I felt that many of these issues were being drowned out in the almost circus-like firestorm that ensued, especially online. Hon: Past, Present & Future attempts to offer a platform of reasoned and constructive argument."

From "birthright" to "state of being," many Baltimoreans hold "hon" sacred, something as intrinsic to the city's character as the Orioles, painted screens and Old Bay. In collecting the words and images of 17 area contributors, Hon: Past, Present & Future explores the various interpretations and implications of this simple term of endearment in a city struggling to reconcile its industrial past with an uncertain future.

Contributor and native son Rafael Alvarez (The Wire) leads the charge by reclaiming a piece of Charm City history. "To find out what defines a 365-day-a-year Hon, I swung from the branches of my family tree – where the genuine article hangs like a row of gotchkies on the line – and scratched the genealogy of an old friend from southwest Baltimore," he writes in "Ain't Nothin' Like the Real Thing". Meanwhile, China Martens (The Future Generation: The Zine-Book for Subculture Parents, Kids, Friends and Others) expresses concern over the impact of gentrification on city youth.

"Fifty percent of the community moves out and another 50 percent moves in within just a few years," she writes in "This is Hampden, Not Café Hon Town". "One of the differences in the newer groups...is they have fewer children, as well as different attitudes toward children's concerns, and this affects changes in the neighborhood." Read the issue's introduction, as well as pieces by Rafael Alvarez and Dean Bartoli Smith, online at EightStonePress.com.

This issue also hopes to rally locals to effect positive change within the city. Tandy, by example, is donating a portion of the proceeds from sales of the issue to the Maryland chapter of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS). "My oncologist's primary annual fund-raiser supports the Maryland chapter of LLS," he says. "In his words, 'the money stays local,' helping to directly fund cancer treatment, transportation and other incidentals for patients who could not otherwise afford it. As a survivor, I consider it my duty to help others in similar situations."

The submission-based Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects essays, poetry, photography and other artwork loosely centered on life in Baltimore. A two-time Utne Reader Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004).

To read Hon: Past, Present & Future in its entirety, order via PayPal to davida@leekinginc.com (issues are $3 each, + $1 s/h per order); copies may also be purchased from Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD); Ukazoo Books (Towson, MD); or via mail by writing Eight-Stone Press, P.O. Box 11064, Baltimore, MD 21212 USA.

For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, MD 21212
wpt@eightstonepress.com
www.eightstonepress.com

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Coming March 31, 2011, from Eight-Stone Press...

2011-02-21T12:23:00.002-05:00

From “birthright” to "state of being," many Baltimoreans hold "hon" sacred, something as intrinsic to the city's character as the Orioles, painted screens and Old Bay. This special edition of the award-winning zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! explores the various interpretations and implications of this simple term of endearment in a city struggling to reconcile its industrial past with an uncertain future...

Pub. Date: March 31, 2011

Florida Trip - 1/14-19/11: PART THREE

2011-01-31T13:18:00.015-05:00

TAMPA, Fl. - With day breaking and still no sign of the crime lab, we packed the car and checked out of the Howard Johnson in search of a palatable cup of coffee. It had been shortly before 11:00 p.m. when the Boy awoke, crying, complaining that his legs were hurting. Figuring it to be a case of growing pains, I got dressed and headed back out in search of children's Tylenol. Every supermarket and pharmacy I passed had closed by nine or ten, and it was nearly an hour later that I finally found a 24-hour CVS a few miles down Dale Mabry Highway, named for a celebrated World War I Navy pilot from Tampa who subsequently died in an airship disaster in 1922.

Needless to say, I needed a stiff dose of caffeine. In the interest of saving time, we headed straight for an Einstein Bros. a few miles down the road that I had noticed during my jaunt the night before. With hot coffee in hand, we determined the day’s first destination: the Fun-Lan Flea Market, a weekly fixture at a nearby drive-in. As we sat at a red light while en route to the freeway, my eye was drawn to a frilly boutique in a still-sleeping strip mall, its display windows full of pastel-colored sleeveless dresses. But what really drew my attention was the name of the place: The Pink Palm.

I pointed it out to my special lady friend. "God," she laughed as the light turned green and the little Ford sprang forward. "Everything just sounds dirtier here, even if it isn't."

***

One of the few fixtures along Hillsborough Avenue, it seems, that isn't a pawn shop, the vast Fun-Lan Flea Market reminded me of the now-defunct North Point Flea Market in southeast Baltimore: an early-morning, blue-collar marketplace for everything practical, from produce and underwear to used toys and televisions. Like North Point, Fun-Lan is held on the grounds of a drive-in theatre; however, unlike North Point, the Fun-Lan Drive-In also remains operational – a more feasible business model in a climate offering year-round drive-in weather. We picked up a few small, inexpensive toys to keep the Boy entertained in the car.

As the sun climbed higher still, we drove on, farther down Hillsborough Avenue, bound for Lettuce Lake Park, a county park that promised cypress swamps and good wildlife viewing. Along the way, we passed even more pawn shops touting cash for gold and paycheck advances. Indeed, while driving by the Easy Living Trailer Park, I couldn't help thinking that life there is probably anything but.

Lettuce Lake, with its observation tower and winding wooden boardwalk sandwiched between water-logged cypress knees and low-hanging Spanish moss, greatly reminded me of the Okefenokee, which we'd visited a year earlier. The place was rife with birds like the white ibis and wood stork, not to mention large apple snails. Given more time, I'd have gladly taken advantage of the park's very reasonable half-day canoe rentals. But there were many more places to go, more things to do, in precious little time. So, after an hour or so wandering through the swamp, we headed out.

We gassed up the Ford at a nearby Shell station sporting an attached Circle K that, inside, was quite possibly the cleanest, most modern convenience store I've ever seen. On the way out, we spied a noteworthy poster:

And with that we were back on the road – destination: St. Petersburg...

To be continued...

Read PART TWO
Read PART ONE

SMILE, HON contributor throws down at Literary Death Match this Thursday!

2011-01-25T09:20:00.004-05:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - Literary Death Match (LDM) returns to one of its favorite cities, this time pairing with the masterminds at Creative Alliance to put on a talent-soaked episode in what could stand as the LDM Event of the Year, beginning at 8:00 p.m. this Thursday, January 27, 2011, at the Creative Alliance, 3134 Eastern Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21224.

The panel of all-star arbiters will feature playwright and Nommo Theatre cofounder Bashi Rose, The Stoop Storytelling co-producer/host Jessica Henkin, and brain-bending artist Joyce J. Scott (a.k.a. "The Queen of Beadwork").

The three judges will preside over four scribes reading seven minutes or less as they battle for the LDM crown, including: war-zone hopping author Dan Fesperman (Lie in the Dark, Layover in Dubai), poet-performing powerhouse Leonard Gontarek (author of Déjà Vu Diner), minimalist master Joe Young (author of Easter Rabbit — Publishing Genius 2009) and must-see Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! rep Davida Gypsy Breier (contributor to Ninety-Five: Meeting America's Farmed Animals in Stories and Photographs).

Hosted by LDM creator Todd Zuniga & LDM producer Ann Heatherington.

Preorder tickets now at www.LiteraryDeathMatch.com under "Buy Tickets"!

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Florida Trip - 1/14-19/11: PART TWO

2011-01-24T15:37:00.009-05:00

JACKSONVILLE, Fl. - Late Friday morning, we landed in sunny Jacksonville, Florida, after a punctual, uneventful flight from BWI. Even with a 4-year-old along for the trip, we follow our longstanding practice of traveling as lightly as possible, packing everything in carryon luggage. Having no checked bags, we headed straight from the gate to the car rental counter, where, thanks to my lady friend’s online reservation, we were on the road in record time.

The subcompact Ford's exterior thermometer quickly climbed into the 50s – already hell and gone better than Baltimore's subfreezing projected highs – as we left the covered garage for the sun-warmed Interstate. We had arrived in conjunction with a high pressure front, and the temperatures would likely continue to climb.

My special lady friend being vegan, dining options – particularly in some of the farther-flung locales – tend to be few and far between. Consequently, we often stay in efficiencies, or hotel rooms that offer a microwave and mini-fridge, rendering possible at least some rudimentary food preparation. This frequently saves money, too, as dining out for every meal while traveling can get kind of pricey. Same goes for booze: nursing a bottle of the good stuff over the course of several days is a hell of a lot cheaper than drinking at the bar (and, dollar for dollar, a lot better quality).

The previous year, we'd found a good Whole Foods in Jacksonville where we stocked up on supplies at the start of our trip, and though our research had turned up WF locations in Tampa and Orlando, we once again opted to buy what we needed up front. It would also give us an opportunity to stretch our legs after so much sitting.

Forty minutes later we were back on the road, our tentative plan being to follow I-95 south for a hundred-odd miles, where we'd take up overnight residence somewhere in or around Daytona Beach. By then, we figured, we'd all need a break from moving. First thing Saturday morning, we’d head west on I-4, which connects Daytona and Tampa.

But as morning gave way to afternoon, I began to rethink this strategy. The Boy had fallen asleep in the back seat. Traffic was light, and we were making better time than expected. Besides, when it came down to it, I hadn’t turned up anything of genuine interest in Daytona Beach. Neither one of us gives two shits about NASCAR, and there was nothing so unique to the beaches there, so far as I could tell, that we couldn't as easily find elsewhere.

"What do you say we just run the whole way to Tampa?" I asked.

"Fine by me," she said, admitting she'd been thinking along the same lines.

"Plus, it will give us a leg up on Saturday morning as we'll already be there."

"Good idea," she said. "And..." – she nodded toward the back seat – "maybe we can make it past the Mouse before our friend wakes up."

Disney World holds no appeal for either of us. I was there once, when I was 6 or 7, and never have I felt the urge to return. But we hold no illusions: as parents of a small child, we realize it's a matter nearly as inevitable as having to explain the origins of babies. If, someday, he campaigns hard for it...well, we'll burn that bridge when we come to it. In the meantime, we'd rather he know that Disney and Florida are not synonymous, that he see the real Sunshine State that exists beyond the make-believe walls of the Magic Kingdom.

***

The Boy awoke just as the hard-worn stretch of I-4 that cuts through Orlando disappeared in the rear-view mirror. My lady friend and I sighed with relief.

A sign for an upcoming rest area suggested a much-needed break from the road. I took the exit and parked the car. Walking toward the restrooms, I noted several black-and-gold signs that read: CAUTION – VENOMOUS SNAKES IN AREA. Having grown up in Miami, my lady friend wasn't particularly impressed. But for a natural-born Yankee unaccustomed to dodging poisonous reptiles in highway rest stops, the sign demanded photo documentation.

By 3:00 p.m. we had reached the Tampa area. With no particular destination in mind and eager to escape the confines of the Ford, we decided to simply book a basic motel room. With the help of a coupon book acquired from the rest stop we located a nearby Howard Johnson that turned out to be in a somewhat sketchy-looking commercial stretch of pawn shops and fast-food joints. Though not particularly difficult to please, we concluded that in getting enough Baltimore at home we didn’t want to spend our vacation in someone else's.

A few miles down the line we found another HoJo – the classic swimming pool surrounded on three sides by a parking lot and a two-story building. I parked in a space near the office while my lady friend went in to inquire about a room. I killed the engine.

Before long, I noticed a man staring at us from the window of a second-story room. He looked to be about 40. He wore a sleeveless muscle-tee and baseball cap and repeatedly sipped from a ceramic coffee cup. He looked nervous, on edge. Evidently, I wasn't the only one who noticed him.

"Dada," said the Boy, "why does that man keep looking at us?"

"No idea, kiddo. He's probably waiting for someone."

My lady friend returned to the car. "Got us a room," she said, indicating the one at the top of the steps – right next door to Mr. Nervous.

We carried the bags upstairs and took a moment to relax.

"Did you see that guy in the next room?" asked my lady friend.

"The one drinking coffee and staring out the window?"

She nodded. "Yeah, out of a mug that he must have brought with him, since it doesn’t seem these rooms come with them."

We discussed possible scenarios, the most likely being that he was waiting to have a tryst.

"He looks like a Carl Hiaasen character," she said.

"Or Cormac McCarthy," I suggested. "No Country for Old Men. He stumbled on something big, and now he's in over his head, just waiting for the real Bad Guys to arrive."

After our respite, we decided to head out in search of a pizza place she had found online that makes a gluten-free crust (she has an allergy). As I backed the car out, I glanced upward at the window. Sure enough, there was Mr. Nervous, still watching, still sipping.

It had been a long day, and after dinner and a quick drive around Tampa, we decided to call it an early night. It was dark by the time we pulled up to the motel. Outside our door we noticed that the curtain at the window next door was now drawn shut. A DO NOT DISTURB sign hung from the doorknob.

"Guess she finally showed up,” said my lady friend.

"Yeah," I laughed, throwing the bolt on the door behind us. "That, or he's lying dead in the next room."

To be continued...

Read PART ONE

Florida Trip - 1/14-19/11: PART ONE

2011-01-21T15:01:00.016-05:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - Every January, my special lady friend and I take a vacation. In the beginning, we took a couple of trips to the UK, each one an adventure, but also...well, cold.

A few years later we wised up and began heading for warmer climes this time of year: New Orleans, Grand Bahama, the Florida Keys. We've taken a special shine to the lattermost, having returned time and again, staying everywhere along the 120-mile archipelago from Key Largo to Key West. Usually on the fly, which has always been our modus operandi. That first trip to the UK, for example, involved a rental car, and in 12 days we drove from London to Brighton, Brighton to Dover (where we took a short respite from the car as foot passengers on the ferry to Calais), Dover to Whitby, Whitby to Edinburgh, Edinburgh to Glasgow, Glasgow to Cardiff, and from there back to London. Staying with friends, friends of friends, in hotels, squats...even the car itself. All the while seeking out the lesser-known (and often morbid) sights, of course.

Indeed, our "vacations" would probably seem like too much work to many people – at least those whose idea of getting away is wiling away their time poolside at some pre-fab, all-inclusive resort. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, if that's your idea of a good time...

But that's not us.

Many of our trips to the Keys have involved a night or two in Islamorada, then down to Marathon, then Big Pine Key, Key West, or anywhere in between. Always a tireless blend of outdoor activity (i.e., biking, hiking, kayaking or snorkeling) and nightlife – the last primarily in Key West: be it drinking or drag bars or simply wandering around the island.

However, for as many times as we’ve been to the Keys, and South Florida in general, neither of us had much experience with North/Central Florida, or the state’s Gulf coast. Florida is a bigger, and more varied, territory than many folks realize, not to mention filled with the kind of weird shit on which Carl Hiaasen has built himself a notable career as a novelist. Hence, looking for a change of pace (and with our then-4-year-old in tow), we flew to Jacksonville, FL, in January 2010 for a look-see at what Florida's more boreal reaches had to offer.

From JAX we drove approximately 30 miles south to St. Augustine, America’s oldest city (founded in 1565 by the Spanish). A few days there, then we were off across the state, through Ocala National Forest, for a stop at Silver Springs ("Nature's Theme Park"), and a night in Gainesville. After heading a few miles south, to Micanopy, and Paynes Prairie Preserve State Park (the best 'gator-viewing around), we shot up and across the Georgia border to fulfill her lifelong dream of visiting the Okefenokee Swamp. We closed out the trip with a final night in St. Augustine before flying home to Baltimore.

This year, we decided to give the Gulf coast a shot. Scheduling a flight to Tampa International proved problematic for us, however, and we once again found ourselves booking a flight into Jacksonville. No problem. Slight modifications to our original plan (which always includes several "Plan Bs" and a healthy dose of spontaneity, anyway; like Bruce Lee said, "Be water, my friends...").

This year's trip would take us from Jacksonville to the Tampa/St. Petersburg area, from there up the coast to the tiny fishing village of Cedar Key, and from there we would once more close out our vacation with a night in St. Augustine – as much for the kid's sake as our own; he had asked if we could go back and stay at the colorful Pirate Haus Inn, as we had the previous year. But more on that later...

What will follow over the next few days (or weeks) is a loose travelogue of the trip – January 14-19,2011 – and our motley assortment of destinations. Stay tuned...

To be continued...

[Photo: Rest stop on I-4 westbound, Polk County, FL. Photo by WPT.]

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start...

2011-01-11T14:11:00.004-05:00

As the great Western philosophers Green Day once noted, "When masturbation's lost its fun..."

Long-running Baltimore zine seeks submissions for special "hon" edition

2010-12-14T11:07:00.004-05:00

December 14, 2010
For immediate release

BALTIMORE, Md. – Prompted by the recent public furor over a Hampden restaurant-owner's trademarking of the word "hon", award-winning local literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! announces a call for submissions of stories, essays, poetry, photography and related artwork for an upcoming issue focusing on the term's roots, its celebration and exploitation, and its past, present and future roles in Baltimore's identity.

"Given the anger and pure, raw emotion floating around out there, it's clear that there is much more at play here than a simple three-letter term of endearment," says Smile, Hon Editor William P. Tandy. "That said, what a wonderful thing it would be if we could put this well-nigh unprecedented outrage and energy to positive use – for the city, for ourselves, for each other."

Questions and ideas to consider include (but are not limited to):

- Are you angered by Denise Whiting's actions in and of themselves? If so, why?

- Do you see Ms. Whiting's actions, and the rancorous public response to them, as being representative of a bigger picture? If so, how? Are there implications of gentrification, greed, corruption, racism, class-ism, etc.? If so, how?

- If you aren't necessarily enraged by these events, do you see other necessary changes within this context?

- What would you like to see going forward?

- Family photographs/other artwork depicting genuine Baltimore "hons", versus the manufactured, exploitative caricatures Ms. Whiting has perpetuated in recent years.

As always with Smile, Hon, personal experience and wisdom are always good vehicles for discussion. Also, please note that we are not looking to produce an issue focused exclusively on the question of new Baltimore vs. old Baltimore. Rather, Tandy seeks to "keep all channels open, and use Ms. Whiting's actions to open a deeper dialogue."

"Together, I think we can create something here that will be of great interest not only to Baltimoreans, but anyone struggling with similar issues in other cities, too," he notes.

Articles (100 – 1,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue when published. The deadline for submissions is Saturday, January 15, 2011.

From the harbor to the hills, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award Nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004).

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is available locally for purchase at Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA) Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD) and Ukazoo Books (Towson, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, MD 21212
http://www.eightstonepress.com
wpt@eightstonepress.com

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Wondering...

2010-12-07T12:02:00.001-05:00

...if John Waters wrote this headline.

SMILE, HON packs the house!

2010-12-06T11:10:00.005-05:00

BALTIMORE, Md. – More than 50 people turned out at Atomic Books in Hampden on the evening of Friday, December 3, 2010, to celebrate the release of Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 13, the latest issue in the award-winning series published by Eight-Stone Press.

Those in attendance enjoyed festive refreshments as issue contributors E. Doyle-Gillespie, Sharon Goldner, Heck, Alex Hewett, Bill Hughes, Jonas Kyle-Sidell, Sarah Jane Miller, Benn Ray and Jeffrey L. Shipley read their work aloud. Smile, Hon Editor, Publisher and contributing writer William P. Tandy hosted the event.

VIDEO (Courtesy of Bill Hughes)

The “Lucky # Thirteeen” Issue of Eight-Stone Press Presented at a Release Party, held at Atomic Books, in Hampden, Hon. from William Hughes on Vimeo.

PHOTOS (Courtesy of Bill Hughes)

PHOTOS (Courtesy of Davida Gypsy Breier)

In related news, Smile, Hon is accepting submissions of ostensibly Baltimore-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for its upcoming fourteenth installment through December 15, 2010. To submit work, or for more information, e-mail wpt@eightstonepress.com, or contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, MD 21212
http://www.eightstonepress.com
http://eightstonepress.blogspot.com
http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

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SMILE, HON release party this Friday!

2010-11-29T08:58:00.002-05:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - Join Atomic Books and Eight-Stone Press in celebrating the publication of Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 13, the latest issue in the award-winning series, from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. this Friday, December 3, 2010, at Atomic Books, 3620 Falls Road, Baltimore, Maryland 21211. This free event will feature light refreshments, and issue contributors will be on hand to share their unique tales of life in Baltimore. For more information, e-mail wpt@eightstonepress.com.

In related news, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of your Mobtown-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for the forthcoming Smile, Hon No. 14 through Wednesday, December 15, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred, though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears.

From the harbor to the hills, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award Nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004).

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is available locally for purchase at Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA) Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD) and Ukazoo Books (Towson, MD).

Horror fanzine TALES OF BLOOD AND ROSES now seeking submissions

2010-11-17T16:06:00.003-05:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - Frequent Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributor Jeffrey L. Shipley announces a call for submissions in the vein of "love gone wrong" for the forthcoming debut issue of horror fanzine Tales of Blood and Roses. Send your horror/thriller-related stories, poems, photography or other artwork to TalesofBloodandRoses@yahoo.com, or visit www.talesofbloodandroses.com for more information.

In related news, look for Shipley's short story "Nancy is Waiting" in the brand-new Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 13, published by Eight-Stone Press.

Planet Cancer publishes SMILE, HON editor's essay

2010-11-16T13:12:00.006-05:00

BALTIMORE, Md. – Planet Cancer (PC), a non-profit organization dedicated to providing a critical community of peer support and advocacy for young adults with cancer, has published Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! editor (and cancer survivor) William P. Tandy's essay "Late for Work" on the website for PC's recently published book, Planet Cancer: The Frequently Bizarre Yet Always Informative Experiences and Thoughts of Your Fellow Natives (to which Tandy is also a contributing writer).

Diagnosed with Stage II-B non-Hodgkin's lymphoma in March 2007, Tandy underwent six months of aggressive chemotherapy. His essay, "Late for Work", offers a glimpse of life's post-treatment realities. Tandy's essay, "What It's Really Like to Be Misdiagnosed", appears in the book.

Published in September 2010, Planet Cancer: The Frequently Bizarre Yet Always Informative Experiences and Thoughts of Your Fellow Natives addresses the questions and needs of the nearly 70,000 young adults, age 18-40, diagnosed with cancer in the United States every year. An honest, down-to-earth guide to living in this new world, from Diagnosis to Post-Treatment, each chapter is informed by Planet Cancer's voice – authoritative, funny, friendly, no-nonsense. Deeply personal, unflinching and often hilarious, Planet Cancer, enlivened with quotes and real-life stories from PC members, gives the uninitiated a sense of community while removing some of the mystery and fear of the unknown.

Champion bicyclist and cancer survivor Lance Armstrong calls Planet Cancer "a mountain of practical information in a funny, you're-not-alone delivery. This is the book for young adults and their loved ones affected by cancer."

Planet Cancer: The Frequently Bizarre Yet Always Informative Experiences and Thoughts of Your Fellow Natives is available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Book People and Borders, or ask your local retailer. For more information, visit www.planetcancerbook.com or www.planetcancer.org.

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SMILE, HON seeking submissions!

2010-11-04T12:58:00.004-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of your Mobtown-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for the forthcoming Smile, Hon No. 14 through Wednesday, December 15, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred, though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears.

From the harbor to the hills, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award Nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004).

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is available locally for purchase at Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA) Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD) and Ukazoo Books (Towson, MD).

Eight-Stone Press Publishes SMILE, HON, YOU'RE IN BALTIMORE! No. 13

2010-10-27T10:46:00.003-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. – Fatal attractions, loved-ones' laments and bloody vendettas pepper the pages of Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! No. 13, the latest installment in the award-winning series published by Eight-Stone Press.

In this issue, BILL HUGHES takes the plunge into Baltimore harbor; EARL CROWN soaks up the blood and booze of the old Baltimore music scene; STACEY A. PETERSON wonders if she made the right move in coming here; and JOE HIGLER comes face-to-face with the sniper himself, John Allen Muhammad, plus a whole lot more. Contributors include:

- COURTNEY BEARDSWORTH
- KEITH BERRY
- DAVIDA GYPSY BREIER
- RANDY BROOKS
- JENNY CAMPBELL
- WAYNE COUNTRYMAN
- CARYN COYLE
- EARL CROWN
- E. DOYLE-GILLESPIE
- S.J. FERRANDI
- MARTHA GATEWOOD
- SHARON GOLDNER
- HECK
- ALEX HEWETT
- JOE HIGLER
- IAN HOCHBERG
- BILL HUGHES
- OTIS JAMES
- JUDITH KRUMMECK
- JONAS KYLE-SIDELL
- PHILIP EDWARD LAUBNER
- ALLYSON LEIGH
- SARAH JANE MILLER
- HOLLY MORSE-ELLINGTON
- STACEY A. PETERSON
- BENN RAY
- STEVE ROBERTS
- NOAM SANE
- JEFFREY L. SHIPLEY
- DEE SMITH
- WILLIAM P. TANDY
- LISA WISEMAN

From the harbor to the hills, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous theme issues have tackled such topics as waste, rats, scars, tattoos, crime and transit.

Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is an Eight-Stone Press production and is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD); and Ukazoo Books (Towson, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, MD 21212
E-mail: wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

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Coming November 2010 from Eight-Stone Press...

2010-10-20T09:30:00.001-04:00

SMILE, HON contributors Crown, Heck and Tandy read this Sunday

2010-10-15T14:14:00.002-04:00

BALTIMORE – Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributors EARL CROWN, HECK and WILLIAM P. TANDY headline this month's installment of the "Town Square" reading series beginning at 4:00 p.m. this Sunday, October 17, 2010, at Minas Gallery, 815 W. 36th Street in Hampden. Sarah Jane Miller hosts the event, and an open mic for words and tunes will follow.

About the readers:

EARL CROWN was a resident of Baltimore for 34 years. Due to numerous assassination attempts and an ongoing feud with the Organized Crime Division of the Baltimore City Police Department, Mr. Crown decided to move into a fortified compound in Belize. He has agreed to make a brief appearance in Baltimore in order to read one of his compositions, and will be flying back to Belize immediately afterward.

HECK moved to Baltimore from Brooklyn New York in late 2004. He won "Best Dead-for-100-Years Elephant" from The Village Voice in 2003, and "Best Art" for his giant jazz hand at the AVAM Kinetic Sculpture Race in 2007 and considers himself a raconteur. He is currently the namesake "Darb" in "Darb TV" debuting in a few weeks at the Copy Cat Theater. HECK is more than willing to take a difficult stance on issues, for example he likes puppies way more than kittens. Especially zombie kittens.

Descended from Irish patriot J. Napper Tandy, WILLIAM P. TANDY loves potatoes, hates cabbage and takes his whiskey neat. He is editor, publisher and contributing writer for the critically-acclaimed Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore!, a submission-based zine ostensibly devoted to life (and death) in Baltimore. Learn more at www.EightStonePress.com.

For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, MD 21212
E-mail: wpt@eightstonepress.com
Web: http://www.eightstonepress.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy

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SMILE, HON, vegan authors and more this weekend at Baltimore Book Fest!

2010-09-21T10:10:00.004-04:00

BALTIMORE – Eight-Stone Press and CityLit Project put the "Baltimore" in the Baltimore Book Festival with an evening of literary mayhem, music and more beginning at 6:00 p.m., Friday, September 24, 2010, at the CityLit tent, on the circle in Mount Vernon.

Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributing authors Earl Crown, E. Doyle-Gillespie, Sharon Goldner, Fernando Quijano III, William P. Tandy and Lisa Wiseman will offer live interpretations of their work, highlighting the good, bad and ugly of Baltimore life. And don't miss the aural spectacle of "interstellar misfits" The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad, whose musical canon includes such classics as "Do You Got a Disease?" and "Show Us Your Boobs (Buy Me a Beer)". While you're there, crack open a complimentary cold one, courtesy of Clipper City Brewing Company, or browse a wide selection of Smile, Hon back issues, t-shirts and more.

Then, come back to the CityLit tent Saturday (9/25) night at 6:30 p.m. for the panel discussion "Eat, Think, Write: Vegan Authors Discuss Their Inspiration". Panelists will include regular Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributors Davida Gypsy Breier (Ninety-Five: Meeting America's Farmed Animals in Stories and Photographs) and Ben Shaberman (The Vegan Monologues), as well as Jonathan Balcombe (Second Nature), Tracye McQuirter (By Any Greens Necessary) and Corinne Bowen ("Crazy Sexy Wellness"). Plus, get there early and enjoy free cupcakes from Emily's Desserts!

For more information on these events, e-mail wpt@eightstonepress.com.

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SMILE, HON at Baltimore Book Fest, tattoos, zombies and more!

2010-09-10T10:08:00.003-04:00

BALTIMORE – Eight-Stone Press and CityLit Project put the "Baltimore" in the Baltimore Book Festival with an evening of literary mayhem, music and more beginning at 6:00 p.m., Friday, September 24, 2010, at the CityLit tent, on the circle in Mount Vernon.

Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributing authors Earl Crown, E. Doyle-Gillespie, Sharon Goldner, Fernando Quijano III, William P. Tandy and Lisa Wiseman will offer live interpretations of their work, highlighting the good, bad and ugly of Baltimore life. And don't miss the aural spectacle of "interstellar misfits" The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad, whose musical canon includes such classics as "Do You Got a Disease?" and "Show Us Your Boobs (Buy Me a Beer)". While you're there, crack open a complimentary cold one, courtesy of Clipper City Brewing Company, or browse a wide selection of Smile, Hon back issues, t-shirts and more.

For more information, e-mail wpt@eightstonepress.com.

***

Going to the Baltimore Tattoo Arts Convention this weekend (9/10-12)? Stop by Atomic Books and pick up a copy of Skin Deep, a special ink-oriented edition of Smile, Hon featuring tattoo-related stories, essays, poetry, color photos, tattooist interviews and more! "[Skin Deep is] a great read." – C.W. Eldridge, Tattoo Archive

***

In related news, regular Smile, Hon contributor Davida Gypsy Breier announces the release of locally-produced horror zine Rigor Mortis #3, featuring original art, genre analysis, reviews of movies, books, graphic novels and more! This issue's highlights include a remembrance of author Z.A. Recht, the "Sexiest Monsters of Filmland", the Feast trilogy, Tony Todd, Nazi zombies and gargantuan movie monsters! Pick up your copy locally at Atomic Books; visit www.leekinginc.com/rigormortis/index.htm for more information.

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The company you keep

2010-09-08T15:08:00.002-04:00

"According to charging documents, the girl broke down crying and told police, 'I didn't know he would actually do it. I'm not a mind reader. How was I supposed to know he was going to stab him?'"

[From "The violent neighborhood in between," by Peter Hermann. The Baltimore Sun. September 8, 2010.]

THE CRAMPS - "Twist and Shout"

2010-08-30T19:03:00.000-04:00

Financial Advice of the Magi

2010-08-27T08:55:00.004-04:00

When Jimmy Carter eventually passes on, American diplomacy will likely be reduced to Glenn Beck offering gifts of gold, frankincense and seeds...

I just don't know...

2010-08-25T07:01:00.003-04:00

...what this city is coming to when five men can't conduct an honest game of craps in a Northeast Baltimore alley without fear of being shot.

2010 Swim Across the Sound Wrap-Up

2010-08-10T12:47:00.012-04:00

I'm back in the wilds of Charm City, having spent a few days in Connecticut, primarily to participate in the St. Vincent Medical Center Foundation's 2010 "Swim Across the Sound". This annual race – which starts in Port Jefferson, Long Island, traverses 15.5 miles across Long Island Sound and ends in Bridgeport, Connecticut – raises money to benefit cancer patients who have fallen on tough times, providing such things as cancer treatment, free breast-cancer screenings...even help with monthly bills.

Most of the competitors participate in relay teams (though there are a few solo swimmers) and rotate in shifts of anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes each (I do not swim in the race myself, but rather drive one of the escort boats that provides support to the swimmers). Our team – comprised of six swimmers – placed 20th overall out of a field of approximately 56; more importantly, however, we collectively raised over $10,000 to benefit the cause.

HOW I GOT INVOLVED

I first participated in the Swim Across the Sound in August 2008. My uncle, Carl, had by that point been volunteering the use of his boat – Concentricity, a 39-foot Hatteras sport-fisherman – as an escort vessel for several years, each year campaigning for me to join him for the Big Day. But life always seemed to get in the way of my making the five-hour drive to Connecticut, where he lives, and committing a few days to the effort.

All of that changed, however, in March 2007, when I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Despite the race falling in the midst of a six-month sentence of aggressive chemotherapy, I nevertheless planned to make the trek that August. Unfortunately, it was not to be, as an infection that left me hospitalized for three days threw off my treatment cycle so that, rather than feeling my (relative) best the day of the Swim, I wound up taking treatment a few days beforehand – which left me completely bottomed-out by race day.

I finished chemo that September, and to this day (knock wood), I remain in the clear, over three years out from diagnosis. But having successfully (albeit narrowly) maintained my hold on life, I was determined to never forget the fact and, going forward, to do whatever I could, whenever I could, to help those still putting up the fight. And so, the following summer, I did everything I could to make the time to help out with the Swim, as I have continued to do ever since.

DAY ONE

The Swim Across the Sound is generally held on the first Saturday in August. Beyond fund-raising, my own part of the trip begins on the preceding Thursday, when I drive from Baltimore to Orange, Connecticut. I make every effort to get there no later than mid-afternoon, so that Carl and I can drive to New Haven for a lunch of my favorite pizza in the world at The Original Frank Pepe Pizzeria Napoletana, where the pizzas are still made in the same coal-fired oven as when the place opened in 1925. That night, the swimmers, boat captains and crew attend the Swim Across the Sound sign-in/dinner presentation at the Holiday Inn Bridgeport. For more than half of his 13 years with the Swim, Carl has hosted the same team, led by Kim Russo. Each year presents a couple of new faces, but most of the team (at least in the time I've been involved) remains the same, making the whole event that much more personal and enjoyable for me.

DAY TWO

On Friday morning, we load up our gear and head back to Bridgeport, where Carl keeps the boat. For the second year in a row, we were joined by Kim's 11-year-old son, Will. The three of us then run the boat across the Sound to Danfords Marina in "Port Jeff", where we spend the remainder of the day prepping the boat – hanging our numbers, scrubbing the decks, topping off the freshwater tank, and so forth – for Saturday's swim. We spend the night aboard at Danfords, conveniently located adjacent to the Bridgeport/Port Jefferson ferry, which delivers all the swimmers from the mainland first thing the following morning.

This year's Friday night in Port Jeff was particularly fun, as we were joined for dinner by zine-stalwart Ken Bausert, publisher of The Ken Chronicles, and his wife, Ro, who live about an hour from the town. After innumerable e-mail exchanges (many of which focused on our mutual appreciation for the music of Warren Zevon), it was fun to finally meet Ken in person; he and Carl were able to connect as well, both being lifelong gearheads. The five of us enjoyed a fine dinner at Pasta Pasta, followed by ice cream and a short walk around town before parting ways.

DAY THREE – RACE DAY

The ferry delivered the swimmers shortly after 7:30 a.m. This year's record-setting field of approximately 286 swimmers then descended upon the marina, breaking out into their respective teams/vessels.

It's a slow and steady ride to the starting point on the beach just beyond the mouth of the harbor as everyone files out of Danfords. In addition to the 56 escort boats were approximately 45 guide boats (which establish and maintain the field perimeter throughout the day), 15 specialty boats (including committee, medical and media), and roughly 20 law enforcement boats, for a total of approximately 130 vessels.

Once in place, the starting swimmer for each team swims to the shoreline for the start of the race. Complicating things this year was the fact that many other swimmers, once their own boats were in place, jumped in the water to "warm up", making it difficult for other boats still filing in to find a good position without running over anyone in the water, or running into other boats, and, thus, a much more chaotic 9:00 a.m. start than usual. Once the proverbial "dust" settled, however, it was business as usual – with the swimmers taking 15-minute relays in the water, while Carl and I traded off one-hour shifts at the helm. Mercifully, there weren't the vast fields of jellyfish that plagued swimmers the first year I was there. Consequently, the large bottle of white vinegar we had brought to treat any potential stings later went back home, thankfully, unopened. Moreover, we enjoyed perfect weather – warm, with clear, sunny skies, and just enough breeze to keep things from getting too uncomfortably hot. The water temperature was in the low 70s. It still makes for a long day, though, as we are keeping pace with swimmers. Our job on the bridge essentially involves engaging and disengaging the transmissions every few seconds so as to keep the swimmers from getting too far ahead of the boat, but not so far back as to force the swimmers to inhale clouds of exhaust from the twin 671 TIB diesel engines every time they take a breath.

Around 5:00 p.m. we reached our destination: Captain's Cove Seaport, located on Bridgeport's Black Rock Harbor. There, all of "Carl's Angels" – Kim, Laina, Fran, Laurie, Katie and Kevin – finished the last few hundred feet of the race together.

After they all had retrieved their belongings a short while later, Carl and I enjoyed a celebratory beer on the boat before driving it back to its home a few miles away. Once she was securely moored and everything stowed, we drove (on land) back to Captain's Cove for the awards presentation and to have our picture taken with the team. But rather than fight the crowds for the by that time pretty-well-picked-over food, Carl suggested we duck out early for dinner at – surprise – Frank Pepe's Fairfield location.

"That is, if you don't mind Pepe's again," Carl said.

Needless to say, no arm-twisting was necessary.

CONCLUSION

"Carl's Angels" placed 20th overall in a field of 56. "We may never win," Carl laughs, "but we are always the best-looking." Most importantly, though, the team collectively raised more than $10,000 to help St. Vincent's Medical Center Foundation help people in their greatest hour of need. And while this year's race might be over, that need continues, and it's not too late to donate, if you are so inclined. Thanks to everyone for your support, and the Powers willing, we will all be back next year to do it again!

WPT

SMILE, HON: Final fund-raising plea

2010-08-02T08:48:00.003-04:00

HELP EIGHT-STONE PRESS SUPPORT LOW-INCOME CANCER PATIENTS
It is important to me, as a cancer survivor, to do what I can to help others who have been diagnosed with/are fighting this terrible disease.

Every August since finishing chemotherapy (in September 2007), I have participated in the St. Vincent's Medical Center Foundation's "Swim Across the Sound", a daylong relay race that begins in Port Jefferson, NY, crosses Long Island Sound and finishes in Bridgeport, CT. I do not actually swim in the race – the thousands of jellyfish that drifted through the Sound my first year quickly cured me of any such motivation. Rather, I drive one of the boats that escort each team across the water, providing respite, refreshment and shade to the swimmers. Each year, I've been fortunate enough to work with the same team, a dedicated group of young ladies – led by team captain Kimberly Russo – who have now volunteered their efforts for this event for several years running, and I look forward to working with them again for this year's event this Saturday, August 7, 2010.

The particularly cool thing about the St. Vincent's Foundation is that all of the money raised, rather than going to research, directly benefits lower-income cancer patients (whose diagnosis may have left them unable to work, or otherwise hindered their ability to work) by helping them with regular household expenses such as groceries, utility bills, rent or even mortgage payments. To these ends, last year's Swim Across the Sound raised approximately $2.5 million.

Indeed, we are all feeling the effects of these hard economic times. But imagine, for a moment, the unspeakable difficulty of facing a cancer diagnosis on top of those day-to-day challenges. Bearing that in mind, I humbly appeal to you to help our team help the St. Vincent's Foundation in supporting those unfortunate enough to be experiencing that very scenario. Donations may be made here (and remember, no amount is too small).

*****

SMILE, HON SEEKING SUBMISSIONS!
Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of your Mobtown-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for the forthcoming Smile, Hon No. 13 through Friday, August 13, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred, though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears.

From the harbor to the hills, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award Nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004).

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is available locally for purchase at Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA) Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD) and Ukazoo Books (Towson, MD).

For more information on any of the above announcements, contact:

For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

-30-

Having a wonderfully dirty time!

2010-08-01T08:00:00.006-04:00

Thanks to everyone who attended the official Waste release party, held Friday, July 30, 2010, at Atomic Books in Baltimore!

Though I never got an official head-count, I'd qualify the evening as an unmitigated success as the store was packed, offering standing-room only, by the time the readings got underway. Contributing authors who read their work included Lisa Wiseman ("In Defense of Getting Wasted"); Fernando Quijano III ("Pissed On"); Sharon Goldner ("From the Estrogen Files"); Timmy Reed ("A List of Unappreciated Whatever"); Ben Shaberman ("Homage to Colonoscopy"); Sarah Jane Miller (reading the absent Matthew C. Terzi's "Oh, the Places You'll Poo!"); as well as myself ("Talkin' Trash").

Documentarian Bill Hughes was on hand to record the evening via photographs and video:

“Waste” Presented at Release Party at Atomic Books (Hon) from William Hughes on Vimeo.

The release party subsequently received a nice write-up at Baltimore Brew, as well.

Thanks again to all involved for a wonderfully dirty time!

WPT

The birdcage

2010-07-28T14:52:00.003-04:00

"There is something about the newspaper business that teaches you some humility - you are so used to having something you wrote today winding up in someone's birdcage tomorrow..." - CARL HIAASEN, whose latest novel, STAR ISLAND, was released Tuesday, July 27.

BALTIMORE SUN calls WASTE "shocking...hilarious"

2010-07-27T13:40:00.003-04:00

The Baltimore Sun calls Waste, the latest issue in the long-running Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series from Eight-Stone Press, "as consistently shocking and hilarious as ever." Moreover, here is your chance to win your very own copy of Waste!

Here, kitty-kitty!

2010-07-27T11:27:00.003-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - Frequent Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributor Rahne Alexander has posted a call for submissions for the forthcoming MEOWPOLIS, a cat-themed art show to open October 19, 2010, at the Whole Gallery in the H&H building in Baltimore. Curated by cat ladies Rahne Alexander and Freda Mohr, MEOWPOLIS seeks an extreme variety of cat-inspired paintings, drawings, videos, performances, sculptures and whatever else might be out there. Any media will be considered, but must be by, for, or about cats. (No dogs allowed!) Our hopes and dreams are the following:

1) Some work that actually involves real cats (in humane ways)
2) A ridiculous cat condo, and
3) Art by cats.

The deadline for submissions is September 1, 2010. To submit, please send the following to meowpolisATgmailDOTcom:

a) Photos/documentation of the piece, or if it is yet to be created, a description
b) Dimensions of the work, and any requirements for exhibition of the work, and
c) Contact information (name, email, phone number).

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SMILE, HON release party this Friday!

2010-07-26T08:46:00.003-04:00

WASTE RELEASE PARTY!
Join Eight-Stone Press (ESP) for a release party celebrating Waste, the latest theme issue in ESP's long-running, award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series, from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., this Friday, July 30, 2010, at Atomic Books in Baltimore. The evening's festivities will include readings by:

- Sharon Goldner
- Sarah Jane Miller
- Fernando Quijano III
- Timmy Reed
- Ben Shaberman
- William P. Tandy
- Lisa Wiseman

Visit the official event page on Facebook, or for more information, e-mail wpt@eightstonepress.com.

***

SMILE, HON SEEKING SUBMISSIONS!
Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of your Mobtown-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for the forthcoming Smile, Hon No. 13 through Friday, August 13, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred, though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears.

From the harbor to the hills, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award Nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004).

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is available locally for purchase at Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA) Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD) and Ukazoo Books (Towson, MD).

***

HELP EIGHT-STONE PRESS SUPPORT LOW-INCOME CANCER PATIENTS
It is important to me, as a cancer survivor, to do what I can to help others who have been diagnosed with/are fighting this terrible disease.

Every August since finishing chemotherapy (in September 2007), I have participated in the St. Vincent's Medical Center Foundation's "Swim Across the Sound", a daylong relay race that begins in Port Jefferson, NY, crosses Long Island Sound and finishes in Bridgeport, CT. I do not actually swim in the race – the thousands of jellyfish that drifted through the Sound my first year quickly cured me of any such motivation. Rather, I drive one of the boats that escort each team across the water, providing respite, refreshment and shade to the swimmers. Each year, I've been fortunate enough to work with the same team, a dedicated group of young ladies – led by team captain Kimberly Russo – who have now volunteered their efforts for this event for several years running, and I look forward to working with them again for this year's event on Saturday, August 7, 2010.

The particularly cool thing about the St. Vincent's Foundation is that all of the money raised, rather than going to research, directly benefits lower-income cancer patients (whose diagnosis may have left them unable to work, or otherwise hindered their ability to work) by helping them with regular household expenses such as groceries, utility bills, rent or even mortgage payments. To these ends, last year's Swim Across the Sound raised approximately $2.5 million.

Indeed, we are all feeling the effects of these hard economic times. But imagine, for a moment, the unspeakable difficulty of facing a cancer diagnosis on top of those day-to-day challenges. Bearing that in mind, I humbly appeal to you to help our team help the St. Vincent's Foundation in supporting those unfortunate enough to be experiencing that very scenario. Donations may be made here (and remember, no amount is too small).

For more information on any of the above announcements, contact:

For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

-30-

Keep your manhole covered

2010-07-23T09:02:00.003-04:00

"We get people in here almost every two days with manhole covers," Harmon said. "We can't take them unless they have papers, so we turn them away."

From the article "Bulky manhole covers yield thieves little payoff", by Kate Smith, The Baltimore Sun, July 22, 2010.

Let the healing begin...

2010-07-16T12:20:00.004-04:00

A press conference has been scheduled for 3:00 p.m. today to announce that musician and humanitarian Bob Geldof plans to cut a charity single to benefit the victims of the Gaithersburg earthquake. Alas, rebuilding is the easy part - it's the human toll that weighs so heavily upon the soul. Let the healing begin...

Whine and cheese

2010-07-16T12:17:00.001-04:00

I've never seen as much press coverage of a child seat recall as has been given to iPhone 4 "problems".

SMILE, HON Release Party & More!

2010-07-16T09:15:00.004-04:00

WASTE RELEASE PARTY!
Join Eight-Stone Press (ESP) for a release party celebrating Waste, the latest theme issue in ESP's long-running, award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series, from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., Friday, July 30, 2010, at Atomic Books in Baltimore. The evening's festivities will include readings by:

- Sharon Goldner
- Sarah Jane Miller
- Fernando Quijano III
- Timmy Reed
- Ben Shaberman
- William P. Tandy
- Lisa Wiseman

Visit the official event page on Facebook, or for more information, e-mail wpt@eightstonepress.com.

***

PRAISE FOR SMILE, HON SEX ISSUE!
In related news, former Tower Records distributor Clint Johns praises the sex-soaked Smile, Hon, You're in Flagrante! in the brand-new Xerography Debt #27, out now from Leeking Inc. and Microcosm Publishing. Johns calls Flagrante "sophisticated...the authors are almost evenly distributed by sex, and the overall tone is Anais Nin rather than Penthouse Letters. I can't recommend this highly enough." Read his complete review and those for many other fine zines in Xerography Debt #27, now available from Atomic Books, Microcosm and Leeking Inc.

***

SMILE, HON SEEKING SUBMISSIONS!
Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of your Mobtown-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for the forthcoming Smile, Hon No. 13 through Friday, August 13, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred, though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears.

From the harbor to the hills, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award Nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004).

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is available locally for purchase at Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA) Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD) and Ukazoo Books (Towson, MD).

***

HELP EIGHT-STONE PRESS SUPPORT LOW-INCOME CANCER PATIENTS
It is important to me, as a cancer survivor, to do what I can to help others who have been diagnosed with/are fighting this terrible disease.

Every August since finishing chemotherapy (in September 2007), I have participated in the St. Vincent's Medical Center Foundation's "Swim Across the Sound", a daylong relay race that begins in Port Jefferson, NY, crosses Long Island Sound and finishes in Bridgeport, CT. I do not actually swim in the race – the thousands of jellyfish that drifted through the Sound my first year quickly cured me of any such motivation. Rather, I drive one of the boats that escort each team across the water, providing respite, refreshment and shade to the swimmers. Each year, I've been fortunate enough to work with the same team, a dedicated group of young ladies – led by team captain Kimberly Russo – who have now volunteered their efforts for this event for several years running, and I look forward to working with them again for this year's event on Saturday, August 7, 2010.

The particularly cool thing about the St. Vincent's Foundation is that all of the money raised, rather than going to research, directly benefits lower-income cancer patients (whose diagnosis may have left them unable to work, or otherwise hindered their ability to work) by helping them with regular household expenses such as groceries, utility bills, rent or even mortgage payments. To these ends, last year's Swim Across the Sound raised approximately $2.5 million.

Indeed, we are all feeling the effects of these hard economic times. But imagine, for a moment, the unspeakable difficulty of facing a cancer diagnosis on top of those day-to-day challenges. Bearing that in mind, I humbly appeal to you to help our team help the St. Vincent's Foundation in supporting those unfortunate enough to be experiencing that very scenario. Donations may be made here (and remember, no amount is too small).

For more information on any of the above announcements, contact:

For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

-30-

WASTE Release Party!

2010-07-07T19:53:00.003-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. - That's right - the long-awaited release party for Waste, the latest theme issue in the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series, has finally been scheduled for 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., Friday, July 30, 2010, at Atomic Books. The evening's festivities will include readings by:

- SHARON GOLDNER
- SARAH JANE MILLER
- FERNANDO QUIJANO III
- TIMMY REED
- BEN SHABERMAN
- WILLIAM P. TANDY
- LISA WISEMAN

So mark your calendars! More details as they become available...

Help support the St. Vincent's Medical Center Foundation's annual SWIM ACROSS THE SOUND!

2010-06-29T14:56:00.004-04:00

It is important to me, as a cancer survivor, to do what I can to help others who have been diagnosed with/are fighting this terrible disease.

Every August since finishing chemotherapy (in September 2007), I have participated in the St. Vincent's Medical Center Foundation's "Swim Across the Sound", a daylong relay race that begins in Port Jefferson, NY, crosses Long Island Sound and finishes in Bridgeport, CT. I do not actually swim in the race – the thousands of jellyfish that drifted through the Sound my first year quickly cured me of any such motivation. Rather, I drive one of the boats that escort each team across the water, providing respite, refreshment and shade to the swimmers. Each year, I've been fortunate enough to work with the same team, a dedicated group of young ladies – led by team captain Kimberly Russo – who have now volunteered their efforts for this event for several years running, and I look forward to working with them again for this year's event on Saturday, August 7, 2010.

The particularly cool thing about the St. Vincent's Foundation is that all of the money raised, instead of going to research, directly benefits lower-income cancer patients (whose diagnosis may have left them unable to work, or otherwise hindered their ability to work) by helping them with regular household expenses such as groceries, utility bills, rent or even mortgage payments. To these ends, last year's Swim Across the Sound raised approximately $2.5 million.

Indeed, we are all feeling the effects of these hard economic times. But imagine, for a moment, the unspeakable difficulty of facing a cancer diagnosis on top of those day-to-day challenges. Bearing that in mind, I humbly appeal to you to help our team help the St. Vincent’s Foundation in supporting those unfortunate enough to be experiencing that very scenario. Donations may be made here (and remember, no amount is too small).

Thanks for listening, and good health and fortune upon you,

WPT

PS – I have participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure for the last few years, in the fall, in support of the oncology center where I took treatment. However, as the oncology center has shifted this year’s main fundraising efforts to another event, held in February, it is unlikely that I will participate in this year's Komen race. (Bottom line: I won't be pestering you for donations again three months from now!)

Is a double negative as good as an admission of guilt?

2010-06-29T09:55:00.002-04:00

According to the charging document, Dominick Holly told police, "I didn't shoot no one..."

SMILE, HON, YOU'RE IN BALTIMORE! seeks submissions

2010-06-28T10:58:00.005-04:00

BALTIMORE – Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is accepting submissions of your Mobtown-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for the forthcoming Smile, Hon No. 13 through Friday, August 13, 2010. Creative non-fiction is preferred, though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears.

From the harbor to the hills, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award Nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004).

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is available locally for purchase at Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA) Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

-30-

And perhaps print some souvenir toe tags to boot...

2010-06-28T09:17:00.007-04:00

In much the way other cities' tourist centers feature caricature artists, I am seriously considering procuring several large pieces of sidewalk chalk, venturing down to Baltimore's Inner Harbor and charging visitors a flat fee to become chalk outlines along the promenade.

SMILE, HON editor, contributors on tonight's edition of THE INDIEBOOKMAN RADIO SHOW!

2010-06-02T09:16:00.007-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. – Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! Editor William P. Tandy joins host Brad Grochowski for tonight's edition of The Indie Bookman Radio Show to discuss Waste, the latest theme issue in the award-winning Smile, Hon series. Waste contributors J. Gavin Heck, Alex Hewett and Fernando Quijano III will also be on hand to read their work. The Indie Bookman Radio Show kicks off at 8:00 p.m. tonight, Wednesday, June 2, 2010, at www.umbrellaradio.org.

***

In related news, Smile, Hon contributor Davida Gypsy Breier announces a fund-raising effort to benefit the Key West Wildlife Rescue in advance of any oil from the blowout in the Gulf of Mexico reaching the shores of the Florida Keys. For a donation of $25, you will receive a signed 5"x7" print (or 8"x10", for donations of $35 or more) from this or any of Davida’s other Flickr photo sets. For further details, contact Davida@leekinginc.com.

The Key West Wildlife Rescue is currently gearing up to deal with wildlife affected by the oil. To aid its efforts, please consider a direct donation of any of these items.

-30-

Eight-Stone Press Publishes WASTE

2010-06-01T14:59:00.004-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. – Defecation, Dumpster-diving and decaying old-world grandeur are but a few of the chunks backing up Waste, the latest "theme" issue in the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series from Eight-Stone Press.

In this edition, ANGIE E cleans up Number Two in Aisle Four...again; EARL CROWN ponders the "Martin Gross Neglect" at Springfield Hospital Center; J. GAVIN HECK comes along, sings a song and joins the jamboree of one dirty rat; a good banana goes bad for J.T. CASSIDY; and A.J. MICHEL lays down just what happens – and where it all goes – after you flush, plus a whole lot more. Contributors include:

- HAI ANXIETI
- HANNA BADALOVA
- A. AUBREY BODINE
- DAVIDA GYPSY BREIER
- TOM BROWN
- J.T. CASSIDY
- EARL CROWN
- WAYNE COUNTRYMAN
- E. DOYLE-GILLESPIE
- ANGIE E
- SHARON GOLDNER
- J. GAVIN HECK
- ALEX HEWETT
- JOE HIGLER
- CRAIG KIRCHNER
- A.J. MICHEL
- NEMETZ
- FERNANDO QUIJANO III
- DAN REED
- TIMMY REED
- ALISON SEAY
- BEN SHABERMAN
- JEFFREY L. SHIPLEY
- CHRISTINE STEWART
- MATTHEW C. TERZI
- WILLIAM P. TANDY
- LISA WISEMAN

From the harbor to the hills, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004). Previous theme issues have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit, sex and the supernatural.

Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is an Eight-Stone Press production and is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); and Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, MD 21212
wpt@eightstonepress.com
http://www.eightstonepress.com
http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

-30-

MICKEY HAWKS & THE NIGHT RAIDERS - "Bip Bop Boom"

2010-05-26T19:21:00.000-04:00

Coming in June 2010 from Eight-Stone Press...

2010-05-24T09:47:00.004-04:00

WASTE.

A Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! production.

Description from jacket copy: "Number Two in Aisle Four. The World's Largest Trash Can. Beautiful old buildings going to rot. And poop. Lots of poop. Here, more than two dozen area contributors weigh in on Waste - the latest theme issue in the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! series from Eight-Stone Press."

Digest, 68 pages, saddle-stitched. $4.

Religion: Hallucinogen of the Masses?

2010-05-22T00:12:00.004-04:00

This afternoon, while walking along North Charles Street in downtown Baltimore, I witnessed a young man riding his bicycle in circles, the whole time singing "I took acid with Jesus in my heart" to the tune of "She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain," over and over again...

CELEBRITY DEATH MATCH: Stallone vs. Schwarzenegger

2010-05-22T00:10:00.002-04:00

"I take back what I said about Stallone earlier - any man who can do that ain't no Hollywood sissy boy..."

Stay tuned...

2010-05-17T11:52:00.005-04:00

The Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! waste issue is in its pre-press stages and set for publication on or about June 1, 2010. More information to follow...

Early-bird registration for 48-Hour Film Project

2010-05-11T20:39:00.004-04:00

From regular Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! contributor Rob Hatch comes the following dispatch, regarding registration for the 48-Hour Film Project:

The countdown begins....

Less than one week left for discounted early-bird registration; early-bird ends Monday, May 17, 2010. You can register at www.48hourfilm.com/baltimore, or visit the site and try to get on a team. And for those who aren't making movies, screenings will be at The Charles Theater June 22 and 23, and advance tickets will be available online through the Baltimore 48HFP website closer to the date.

So, what are you waiting for? Every second counts when you only have 48 hours to make a film....

Thanks and looking forward to seeing everyone in June,

Rob Hatch
Baltimore & Portland Producer, 48HFP

"A View from the Field"

2010-05-05T10:20:00.003-04:00

Not all of the work of the Office of Cemetery Oversight goes on at 500 North Calvert Street in Baltimore. An important part of the work occurs in cemeteries around the state. The Investigator for the Office of Cemetery Oversight routinely investigates aspects of complaints firsthand, interviewing complainants, talking with cemetery responsible parties, investigating damages and allegations of improprieties, and trying to get a feel for the issue at hand.

Rest assured that just because the investigator visits your cemetery doesn’t mean that something is wrong. In order to establish a good working relationship with the entities the Office regulates, the investigator will often stop in just to say hello, and get to know you. Think of the investigator as the face of the Office of Cemetery Oversight. Now that the Office is once again fully staffed, it is anticipated that the investigator will be able to spend more time in the field.

SMILE, HON: Country Mice and City Rats!

2010-04-28T19:54:00.005-04:00

TOWSON, Md. – Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! Editor William P. Tandy will sign copies of the award-winning zine (or any other non-biohazardous object) from 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. this Saturday, May 1, 2010, at the Ukazoo Books booth at the Towson Town Festival. Regular Smile, Hon contributor Davida Gypsy Breier will also be on hand signing copies of Ninety-Five: Meeting America's Farmed Animals in Stories and Photographs.

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004).

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD) and Ukazoo Books (Towson, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

-30-

Copy cat

2010-04-21T11:00:00.002-04:00

I was quietly minding my own this morning when the middle-aged man seated across from me in the waiting room leaned over and asked, "Are they here to clone you?"

"Excuse me?" I replied.

"Are they here to clone you?"

"Not that I know of."

"Ah," he mumbled, settling back into his chair. And with that the doc opened the door and ushered me into the back.

I'm still wondering what was behind Door #2.

REVIEW: The Lost Patrol/"Dark Matter"

2010-04-19T12:17:00.007-04:00

THE LOST PATROL – Dark Matter
Self-Produced; http://www.thelostpatrol.com

As its title implies, the seventh album from New York's Lost Patrol (and second with singer Mollie Israel) finds the band characteristically digging ever-deeper into the darker recesses of the human psyche via reverb-soaked surf guitar, lonesome 12-string rhythm and haunting female vocals.

The great potential Israel demonstrated on the band's last album, 2008's Midnight Matinée, has blossomed considerably on Dark Matter. Here, her lilting voice fully inhabits the melodic twilight of tracks such as "These Days", "Nobody There" and "Ever After".

But looks can be deceiving; indeed, beneath Israel's wan exterior lurks latent, predatory muscle. "Now you keep me / Like a disease" she wails over the menacing groove of "In Your Blood", like an obsessively crazed ex capable of a whole lot more than flattening your tires. This incarnation resurfaces later within the majestic gloom of "Justine" (based on the de Sade character of the same name), wherein Israel admits, "I love the way they tortured you, Justine". Even the yé-yé-inspired bubblegum of "Before I Go" has a decidedly dark cast about it.

On Dark Matter, the band has evidently found common footing given Israel's underscored presence and the supporting roles in which bandmates Stephen Masucci and Michael Williams have seemingly cast themselves. And while this is most assuredly a good thing overall, the band's ardent long-time fans may find themselves lamenting the absence of the soaring and mournful instrumentals that Masucci and Williams brought to the Lost Patrol's earlier work.

Dr. Stanley Walker of the Oncology Center of Central Baltimore - "Never Give Up"

2010-04-12T18:33:00.001-04:00

SMILE, HON deadline, upcoming events and more

2010-04-12T10:33:00.003-04:00

BALTIMORE, Md. – From the bathroom to the boardroom, local literary zine Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! seeks your waste-related stories, essays, poetry, photography and other artwork for an upcoming special "theme" issue!

Potential topics might include, but are not limited to, biological, fiscal or environmental waste, waste-handling or wasted potential. Creative non-fiction is preferred, though all submissions will be considered. Articles (100 – 2,000 words) are preferably received via e-mail (wpt@eightstonepress.com) as attached Word documents. Image files should be approximately 5" x 7", 300+ dpi (.JPG or .TIF format). All contributors will receive a byline/artist credit for their work as well as two (2) complimentary copies of the issue in which their work appears. The deadline for submissions is this Thursday, April 15, 2010.

This latest call for submissions from Baltimore-based imprint Eight-Stone Press (ESP) comes hot on the heels of the February 2010 release of Smile, Hon, You're in Flagrante!, an adults-only collection of sex-centered writing, poetry, photography and other artwork. Other previous theme issues of Smile, Hon have tackled such topics as rats, scars, crime, tattoos, transit and the supernatural.

In related news, visit the CityLit Festival from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. this Saturday, April 17, 2010, at the main branch of the Enoch Pratt Free Library in downtown Baltimore. Stop by the Eight-Stone Press table in the Literary Marketplace for copies of Smile, Hon, t-shirts and more. Smile, Hon Editor William P. Tandy will also join Neal Shaffer and Christopher Casamassima for a panel discussion, moderated by The Urbanite's Marianne Amoss, on "DIY Comics, Zines and Chapbooks" beginning at 11:00 a.m. in the library’s Fine Arts Department.

From the harbor to the hills, the award-winning Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! collects the tales of those on whom Mobtown has left her indelible mark. Polished, professional essays; barroom sermons delivered from the sanctity of a favorite stool; the poet's fleeting sentiment, captured in both word and snapshot – Smile, Hon offers a slice of Baltimore as told by Baltimore, presented with the time-honored DIY accessibility of a limited-run, handcrafted zine. A two-time Utne Independent Press Award nominee, Smile, Hon has also been dubbed "Best Zine" by Baltimore Magazine (2008) and Baltimore City Paper (2004).

An Eight-Stone Press production, Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore! is distributed by Atomic Books (Baltimore, MD); City Lights Books (San Francisco, CA); Cyclops Books & Music (Baltimore, MD); Microcosm Publishing (Bloomington, IN, and Portland, OR); Quimby's (Chicago, IL); Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse (Baltimore, MD) and Ukazoo Books (Towson, MD). For more information, contact:

William P. Tandy, Editor
Eight-Stone Press
P.O. Box 11064
Baltimore, Maryland 21212
E-mail: Wpt@eightstonepress.com
Website: http://www.eightstonepress.com
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/eightstonepress
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/wptandy
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eightstonepress

RELATED NEWS

Smile, Hon contributor’s work featured in new book
No Voice Unheard, a non-profit, independent publisher dedicated to providing animals a unique voice through beautiful, creative and cutting-edge books, announces the May 1 release of Ninety-Five: Meeting America’s Farmed Animals in Stories and Photographs. This collection of stories and full-color photographs by rescuers, caregivers and animal lovers (including many by regular Smile, Hon, You’re in Baltimore! contributor Davida Gypsy Breier) gives readers a glimpse of these animals you may not have thought possible; from Justice, the steer who broke out of a truck on the way to the slaughterhouse who is now the self-appointed "greeter" at his sanctuary to Gilly, a small white hen rescued from a factory egg farm who found quiet happiness in a loving home, each animal offers a compelling, captivating story. Pre-order your copy of Ninety-Five here.

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Benefit for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society
Support Dr. Stanley Walker of the Oncology Center of Central Baltimore in his bid for the title of Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Man of the Year at the "It’s All Baltimore" Benefit Dinner beginning at 7:00 p.m. this Wednesday, April 14, 2010, at Miss Shirley’s Café, 513 West Cold Spring Lane, in Baltimore’s Roland Park neighborhood. Celebrity guests include Cam Cameron and Matt Stover. Your $100 donation/person includes full-course dinner and wine, with 100 percent of all donations directly benefiting the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. For tickets, call (410) 662-6222.

You can also help support Dr. Walker in his bid for the title of Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Man of the Year at the Benefit Dinner and Silent Auction beginning at 6:00 p.m., Tuesday, April 20, 2010, at Pazza Luna, 1401 E. Clement Street, Baltimore, MD 21230. Further details forthcoming.

Dr. Walker’s "Never Give Up" video (which includes a link to his fundraising page at the bottom) is now available on YouTube.

The titles of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Man & Woman of the Year will be awarded at the Grand Finale Gala Celebration beginning at 6:30 p.m., Friday, April 30, 2010, at the Scottish Rite Masonic Center, 3800 North Charles Street, Baltimore, MD 21218. WJZ-TV’s Don Scott will act as Guest Master of Ceremonies, and the evening will include a silent auction, a live auction with Jonathan Melnick and dancing to the sounds of Kaos. Your $200/person (or $1,800/table of 10) donation includes hors d’oeuvres, dinner buffet, dessert and a free open bar all evening. Corporate partnership and program book advertisement are available, as will a complimentary shuttle service from the Baltimore Polytechnic Institute parking lot, located at 1400 W. Cold Spring Lane. For more information, call (410) 662-6222.

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Benefit for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society
Enjoy a night out while help raise money to support blood cancer research from 7:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. this Saturday, April 17, 2010, at the Gin Mill (upstairs bar), 2300 Boston Street, in Baltimore’s Canton neighborhood. Ten percent of all food and drink sales will directly benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. The evening will also include a 50/50 and raffle prizes that include Ravens tickets; Orioles vs. Red Sox tickets; Hopkins vs. Towson tickets; Blast-signed ball, pennant and championship t-shirt; one-of-a-kind Ray Lewis photo by Ravens photographer Shawn Hubbard; REI Women’s Taku jacket; wine baskets; spa wellness packages; fitness packages; a diamond necklace and more. Five-dollar suggested donation at door.

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"The Baltimore Plan"

2010-04-11T19:44:00.000-04:00

Suck on this

2010-04-09T10:51:00.003-04:00

All those silly, uptight, bodily-repressed bastards who give women a hard time about breastfeeding in public should redirect their misguided attention to doing something about the people who SPIT in public...

[Source: "Breastfeeding rooms hidden in health care law", by Elizabeth Landau, CNN, April 9, 2010.]

Let's talk about sex, baby / At expense of the R-N-C...

2010-04-01T14:48:00.006-04:00

The letter went on to state that, for an extra $.99 a minute, Peggy Noonan would put a lot more than dirty words in your mouth, and that, contrary to popular belief, she's not really into "kinder" or "gentler"...

In all seriousness, however, I do hope Michael Steele considers a run against both Ehrlich and O'Malley on a platform of "A Two-Drink Minimum, and No Touching".

Waste not, write not!

2010-04-01T09:21:00.003-04:00

(High-speed) cruisin' for a bruisin'

2010-03-26T09:18:00.005-04:00

"'It's the most successful attraction at Navy Pier in Chicago, and we expect that it will be very successful in Baltimore,' he said."

Yeah, and Chicago sits on Lake Michigan, a big-ass, open body of water...

[Source: "High speed cruises coming to city", by Edward Gunts, The Baltimore Sun, March 26, 2010.]

Affair between Nelson Algren and Simone de Beauvoir subject of forthcoming biopic

2010-03-25T10:33:00.006-04:00

Word is that Johnny Depp and his partner Vanessa Paradis have been cast to play Man with the Golden Arm author Nelson Algren and French feminist writer Simone de Beauvoir, respectively, in the upcoming film My American Lover. More details here.